


From boy to Man

by Sophiablue90



Series: From boy to man series [1]
Category: Trouble in the Heights (2011)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Chance Meetings, Death, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Friendship, Loss of Virginity, Memories, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:55:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 29,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5535539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophiablue90/pseuds/Sophiablue90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The summer air warmed Nevada’s throat as he breathed in deeply. He took in the sights around him. Youths playing ball on the sidewalk. Abuelitas carrying paper bags weighed down with groceries across the street. Young women in shorts chatting excitedly as they walked to the park, tying up their hair to cool down their necks. </p>
<p>This was his quarter. Washington Heights.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The boy she met again

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first nevada ramirez fic, i thought i'd try something different. Hope you all like it!

The summer air warmed Nevada’s throat as he breathed in deeply. He took in the sights around him. Youths playing ball on the sidewalk. Abuelitas carrying paper bags weighed down with groceries across the street. Young women in shorts chatting excitedly as they walked to the park, tying up their hair to cool down their necks. 

Nevada sighed. This was his quarter. Washington Heights. Despite the heat, he still wore his leather jacket and jeans. He adjusted the gold chain and cross around his neck. His mind wandered for a brief second to his mami, who had brought him to church every Sunday growing up. He always remembered the priest on the altar, giving sermons on being a good Christian, leading a good Christian moral life. His mami strived to achieve this in her daily activities; volunteering at soup kitchens, tutoring troubled youths, helping at the old folk’s homes. They grew up poor and shared the tiny apartment on 153rd street with his abuelitos. 

His papi…..Nevada felt his knuckes turn white as he clenched his fist. His papi was an angry unpredictable man. He would bring flowers for mami one day then beat her black and blue the next. There was a shared sense of relief in the family when he never came home one night. Nevada’s abuelo became his father figure then. It was from him that Nevada learned little tricks, tricks that turned more sophisticated and a full blown crime scheme. Abuelo would teach Nevada how to pickpocket vulnerable people and short change the distracted. As Nevada grew older, this turned into burgeries, carjacking, arson. He never got caught or reprimanded.

Nevada’s crime career was revolutionised when he discovered narcotics. Heroin, cocaine, crack, meth, cannabis – they memorised him, although he had never been tempted to try. He had seen too many neighbours’ kids and teenagers from high school use and their lifes become dependant on the substances. Nevada prided himself on being dependant on nothing or no one. His only vices were cigarettes and whiskey. 

Nevada made acquaintances who had contacts in the docks and the illegal drug trade. He could negotiate prices with suppliers easily, his solemn face and cold eyes unnerving for even the toughest of men. He devised novel routes for shipping and transport from the docks that were simple yet effective. He recruited strong loyal men to organise the drug runners and dealers. Nevada trusted these men with his money, his supplies and his information. He only trusted himself with his life. That was the most valuable thing to him. He had seen enough death to know that once you were gone, you were never to return. Having said this, he never went anywhere without them or his SUV. One layer of protection was better than none he thought.

A loud bang to his left broke him from his thoughts as he swung his head in the direction of the noise. He watched with interest as he assessed the situation. 2 cars had collided head first on the road. The occupants of one car were already out on the road, the two men shaking their fists at the driver in the other car. Nevada could vaguely make out a passenger in the second car. He watched as she stepped out slowly, her knees seemed to be shaking as she clung to the car door. He saw her watch the men argue and raise their voices.

Nevada took a step closer, aware that his circle of men were on his tail as always. The woman from the car leaned against the car bonnet and massaged her temples. She brushed her long brown hair from her shoulders as she did so. Nevada watched as she raised a hand to her hairline to discover blood. Her face remained calm as she used her phone to see the source of the bleeding. 

There was something so familiar to Nevada about the woman’s aura, her calmness, her long brown hair. He became so curious he didn’t realise that he was walking towards the two cars. He could hear the muttering of his men behind him. They were trying to figure out what Nevada was doing also. 

The men from the cars saw a dark figure approaching them. They stopped shouting, they appeared in a trance as they watched the man in the leather coat and oiled hair surrounded by four big burly latinos walk confidently towards them. One of the men mumbled a prayer to Santa Maria and blessed himself quickly. Nevada had no interest in them. He strode past them to the woman who was now blotting her head with a tissue. She turned towards Nevada as she felt a shiver come over her. 

She tried to understand the scene unfolding around her. She had only accepted a ride to work that afternoon. Well, her job in her Tio’s bodega on her days off as a student nurse. She worked hard to get to community college and then to be accepted onto a nursing course. She had only one year left as a student nurse before she was fully fledged. She hoped the increase in wages would allow her to quit the bodega job and help pay for her papi’s medical bills. He had been fighting lung cancer for three long years. His treatment was not coming cheap, with bills in the thousands mounting each month. At least he’s resting at home, she thought. Mami had to give up her job to take care of him. But they would do anything for him to make him feel better she vowed. She loved him.

Her thoughts stopped abruptly when she found herself staring at the man stood in front of her. His eyes studied her intently. She felt uncomfortable as he let his gaze wander down her chest, to her legs and back to her lips and eyes. 

“Can I help you with something?” she could stand up for herself if required. Papi taught her well. She saw a faint smirk grow on the man’s lips. She watched as his gold chain reflected the bright sun light. She took in his appearance, a black vest under a leather coat, little tufts of chest hair exposed at the collar. His jeans looked expensive, as did his shoes. She was partly amused by his entourage posed behind him. 

“I know you”.  
She wasn’t expecting that. What an odd thing to say when she was holding a tissue to her hairline which was sure to be saturated with blood by now. She knew she would need to get stitches soon. She analysed his face. Big green eyes, framed by thick dark eyebrows. A prominent roman nose above a thin pair of lips and round chin. She watched as he licked his lips. His eyes, she thought back……

“I need stitches” she said abruptly. She leant in through the open car window and grabbed her handbag. Nevada studied her as she looked around. Obviously looking for the nearest hospital he thought. He moved closer to her.

“I know you” he repeated.  
She was getting annoyed at this stage. Now was not the time to be having reunions. She couldn’t imagine she knew this man, he looked like a villain from a movie scene. She was never in trouble or mixed with risky people. She had always lived a quiet life, at home with Mami and Papi, focused on her career and now Papi’s health.

“Good for you” she retorted and began to walk away when he caught her arm. She tried to tug her arm away but his grip was too strong. This seemed to amuse him.

“Fuck off you pendejo” she spat as she fought to free herself. She looked in the direction of her friend who was driving but frowned when he was no where to be seen. Coward she thought. She was about to kick him in the shin when she saw his grin widen and he spoke again.

“Amelia Bello”.  
She froze and moved back a little. His voice when he said her name. Her eyes scanned his face over and over. He laughed when she did this. She gasped, it was all coming back. His lips when they rose into a laugh. His cheeks that became fuller when he smiled. The lines around his eyes that were now deeper and more prominent. 

“Nevada Ramirez” she whispered.  
He moved closer again until their bodies were almost touching. Amelia could nearly feel his breath on her face. He let go of her arm to hold her hand and removed the tissue from her forehead. He inspected the wound and tutted playfully,

“You always were a tough nina”.  
Nevada had changed she thought. His demeanour seemed…colder, meaner. But his eyes had a glimmer of warmth in them. She had heard stories that Nevada was involved in all sorts of activites though she ignored the rumours. She hated the gossip and the talk that was prevalent in the Heights.

“You’ve changed” Amelia said quietly.  
He chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair. He always loved how soft it felt under his fingertips. He pressed a kiss just above her eyebrows.

“Get some help for your head. Then come see me. Let’s catch up”.  
There was something sleazy about the way he said that. Amelia shivered and stepped back. Nevada was now a very different person from the boy she once knew. He squeezed both her arms before winking and walking away again, his men following. She stared into his back as she watched him disappear into a black SUV and head downtown. She felt the blood rush to her head.

Nevada Ramirez. 

The guy she went to high school with. 

The boy she grew up with and who she sat beside in English class. 

Her first love. The one she thought she would marry, maybe have a family.

She took a deep breath. Nevada Ramirez. Ay ay ay ay ay.


	2. The boy she knew before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia remembered when she first met him. She was 16 and on the way to high school in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, the female character is nearly assaulted at the start of this chapter.

Nevada Ramirez. 

He was the last person she expected to see today. After the accident, Amelia rushed over to New York Presbyterian to get her head wound attended to. She winced as the cut was sterilised and closed over to heal. The doctor put a bandage over the stitches and sent her home with strict instructions to rest. On the way home she couldn’t stop thinking about Nevada.

Amelia remembered when she first met him. She was 16 and on the way to high school in the morning. It was a December, as she could recall the snow that year was up to her ankles. She could still see the three older guys waiting at the corner by the school gates. These guys were two years older than her and were known as the bullies of the school. They would frequently push the younger kids to the ground outside the school gates or shake them against their lockers inside to get their lunch money. Amelia tried to avoid them at all costs, even if it meant taking a detour route to class. They used to harass the girls in the school, calling them names or trying to touch them inappropriately. 

One particular morning, Amelia trodded through the deep snow, carrying her backpack full of A4 pads and textbooks. She always came prepared for class. As she juggled the bag on her back, she took a wrong step and slipped on some ice that was hidden under a thin layer of snow. She heard the boys laughing. Damn she thought, this must have been one of their traps. She scrambled to rebalance herself to stand up but she fell again. She started to panic as the boys began to circle her, taunting her. One of them threw her bag away from her. She called for help but the class bell had already rung, everyone was inside. She felt hands on her waist and legs as the boys closed in, hands on her coat zip pulling it down. She screamed and kicked her feet at them but they only laughed. 

Suddenly one of the boys let out a sharp squeal of pain and doubled over to fall on the ground. As he fell, Amelia could see Nevada standing behind him. She knew him as the boy who went to her school and lived a few streets down from her in the Heights. He nodded at her and before the other two boys could react, he threw a hard punch into each of their faces. Shaken, they mumbled and carried themselves off down the street, leaving a trail of blood behind them. Amelia was still lying in the snow, shivering. She blinked fast for a few minutes, trying to comprehend what had just happened. It was only when she saw a hand in front of her that she looked into Nevada’s face again. His round green eyes looked concerned as his lips tightened into a thin line. 

“You ok?” he asked softly.

She couldn’t answer, she just stared into his face. She watched as he crouched down beside her. He put his hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles through her puffy coat. She looked down and saw the zip on her coat had been broken. She held her coat closed and looked down, embarrassed.

“Come on, let’s get you inside”. 

She looked up to see Nevada’s gentle smile. She took his hand and let him help her stand up. He picked up her backpack as she brushed the snow off the back of her coat and knees. He led her inside to the warm school corridors. She felt so special when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and brought her to the female toilets. She laughed when he followed her in, he never seemed to be afraid of getting in trouble. Amelia realised her jeans were ripped at the knee and the skin was scraped. Nevada dampened a piece of toilet paper and held it to her knee. He linked her to class after. Amelia couldn’t focus on the teaching material. All she could think about was the boy that had helped her. During the class, a note appeared on her desk from beside her.

‘What’s your name?’

She smiled and looked to her left, to where the note had come from. Nevada had his arms crossed on his desk, his eyebrows raised and his lips pursed, waiting for an answer. She sent back his note.

‘Amelia Bello. Who are you?’

A few minutes later, the piece of paper found its way back to her again.

‘Hello Amelia. Nevada Ramirez’.

 

Amelia smiled to herself as she thought back to that day. Now she had arrived home from the hospital and after checking on her papi, she lay down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. She let her mind wander again to the days and weeks after that day he had saved her. She noticed Nevada more and more around the corridors. She saw him frequently skip class to have a smoke outside. She would watch him from the classroom window. He would hide behind the sports equipment shed in the yard and occasionally look round the corner. Once he caught her staring. Before she could look away, he smirked and saluted at her as he puffed a cloud of smoke from his lips. She would giggle and salute back before facing the front of the class again. 

Amelia remembered being given out to by the teachers for looking out the windows during class. The teachers had noticed a friendship developing between Amelia and Nevada, which concerned them. Amelia was a bright student, with hopes of becoming a doctor. Nevada on the other hand was troublesome, a truant and a bad influence. Amelia’s parents were called in the hope she could be steered away from him.

It was futile. There was something so attractive and mesmerising about Nevada that had Amelia curious. She would join him at lunchbreaks when he hadn’t left the premises. During the weekend, they would meet in Fort Tryon park. She was amazed at his knowledge of everything. He was fascinated by nature and science. One time in the summer, he took her to Central Park. She had brought a picnic basket for them and they lay on a blanket, gazing up at the clear blue sky. She turned on her side towards him and closed her eyes, feeling so content and safe. She opened her eyes to find Nevada was lying facing her. He had moved so close that their noses were almost touching. She remembered him stroking her cheek so gently and leaning in to peck her lips. Their first kiss. She can still recall how his lips felt against hers – warm, soft, so inviting. Nevada let out a sigh as he placed his arm over her waist and drew her closer, rubbing his nose against hers. Amelia ran her hand through his hair and tucked her head into his neck. They woke up hours later to find the sun gone and their skin darker. Amelia’s Mami gave out hell to her when she came home late.

Amelia and Nevada grew closer and closer until they became inseparable. After school they would hide during the breaks behind the shed in the yard to kiss and hold each other. More often than not, they would be interrupted by one of Nevada’s friends. Amelia didn’t like the guys he hung out with. Some of them would drink and smoke as she sat with Nevada. One of them had even offered her a drink which Amelia was reluctant to accept. Before she could respond, Nevada intervened and refused to allow Amelia to take the alcohol. She loved to watch him suck on his cigarette, though he never offered her one and never let his guys give her one either.

Nevada began to show up to class less and less. He still hung behind the shed for his secret rendez vous with Amelia after school. She would often go over to his family’s apartment to help him with his assignments, though Nevada was more interested in enjoying her company than doing coursework. In his room they would lie face down on the bed beside each other, her flicking between pages in a folder, him just watching. Every so often he interrupted her for a quick kiss. He loved how she would first blush, then look down to continue her work.

Amelia remembered the night she lost her virginity to Nevada. She had always been told by Mami to respect herself and wait for marriage. But this night she chose to forget her Mami’s words. Nevada had invited her home after school again for company as he knew the apartment would be empty. Nevada hated being at home alone. They had begun to watch a movie on the tv and snuggled under a blanket on the sofa. There was no heating in the building. Halfway through the movie, Amelia couldn’t help holding Nevada’s hand and rubbing it under the blanket. He smiled, he wasn’t used to such affection. He held her face in his hands and touched his lips against hers. 

Amelia felt such emotion for him that she put her hand on his leg and squeezed his thigh. Nevada let out a small sigh and stared into her eyes. The kisses grew faster and deeper. Amelia opened her mouth and let Nevada’s tongue stroke hers. She had heard of French kissing and gossip about sex from her friends at school, who were more experienced in relationships than her. They teased her for being a slow grower. Nevada felt her tensing up.

“We don’t have to…”  
She grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. She wanted this. She wanted him.  
“I want to”. She said before pausing and adding shyly, “just…be gentle with me”.

Nevada stroked her cheek to help reassure her. He lead her to his bedroom and stood her in front of the bed. He kept kissing her as he slowly removed her top and jeans, giving her time to stop him if she changed her mind. When she was in her bra and panties, he pulled back the bed covers and guided her to lay on the bed. As she made herself comfortable, she watched Nevada strip completely naked. 

This was the first time she had seen a boy naked. Nevada was strong built, with dark curls of hair on his chest and abdomen and under his arms. A trail of dark wiry hair led down from his belly button to his groin. She felt embarrassed for staring at his penis, which was half hard. She had never seen one before, it looked huge. She worried how it would fit inside her. Her heart beat so fast as he lay beside her under the covers and resumed their kissing. She felt herself relax and get more comfortable. She could heat growing between her legs. Nevada moved her on her back and kissed her neck and collarbone. Amelia clung to his neck and pushed him back so she could sit on his lap and unhook her bra. She let Nevada remove the straps from her arms one at a time. Her instinct to cover herself up with her arms was thwarted when Nevada kissed down her neck to her chest and sucked each nipple.

Amelia gasped and leant her head back. Nevada lay her back on the mattress again and lowered himself onto her stomach. He pecked along the hem of her panties on her hips.

“Are you ok?” he whispered.  
“Yes” Amelia sighed and started to push her panties down. Nevada pulled them off her legs and kissed a path up her thigh, past her hips, between her breasts and back to her lips. Amelia opened her knees for him as he lowered himself gently onto her. He kissed her again, “We can stop anytime you like, ok?”

She nodded. She felt herself falling for him at that moment. He was so considerate of her wellbeing. She watched him give himself a few tugs before moving to enter her slowly. She grinded her teeth at the initial discomfort. Nevada proceeded very cautiously, watching her face for any sign of pain. She dug her fingernails into his arms as he moved deeper and deeper inside her. She let out a gasp.

“You ok?”  
Amelia couldn’t speak, she felt herself getting tense and tighter. Nevada lowered his chest to hers and whispered in her ear, “Relax carino, relax. We can go as slow as you like” and he sucked on her neck. Soon, he was able to thrust in fully without causing her too much pain. After a few minutes of slow gentle movements, she was able to enjoy herself a bit better. She stared into his eyes, watching his lower lip quiver and his eyelids flutter. He lowered his hand to just above her opening and circled his thumb around a little bundle of nerves she didn’t know she even had. Her hips bucked up suddenly, causing them both to groan. She could feel heat and a funny sensation building in her lower abdomen. She felt her muscles clench around him as he moved. Her back arched as he shouted and fell onto her. He moved to her side, held her hand and hugged her from behind as she slept. She could feel his lips on her neck during the night.

Amelia heard a knock on her bedroom door which distracted her from the flashbacks.

“Yeah?”  
Mami appeared from behind the door. “Comos de su cabeza?”  
“Estas bien”.  
“La cena esta lista”.  
“Gracias mami” as Amelia rolled off her bed and exited her room.

“Is Papi resting?”  
“Si. Esta muy cansado”.

Amelia nodded as she took her place at the small round table. Pork with rice. Her favourite meal. She smiled to herself when it struck her that that was Nevada’s favourite also.

“What’s so funny?” her Mami asked.  
“Nada Mami”.

She knew Mami was about to enquire more but stopped when someone knocked on the door. Amelia stood up and straightened out the creases in her clothes as she went to answer it. She realised as she opened the door that she forgot to check the peephole. Too late now she thought to herself.

“Carino”.  
Her eyes almost popped out of her eyes as she took in the sight of Nevada standing in her doorway. He had a bouquet of red roses in his hand and grinned at her, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses.

“Nevada”.

Her Mami in the kitchen jumped when she heard that name. Bad memories flooded back of how she almost lost her daughter to that thug. She grabbed a wooden spoon from a kitchen drawer and appeared beside Amelia at the door. Nevada started to laugh when he saw her. He stepped over the threshold and kissed Amelia on the cheek. His head turned to the kitchen when he smelled the freshly cooked pork. He licked his lips as he looked between both of them.

“Just in time for dinner. Gracias” he smirked and walked over to the table to sit down. Mami threw her arms in the air and muttered in Spanish as she returned to the kitchen. Amelia closed over the door, noticing Nevada’s men were now stationed on the stairwell at the end of the corridor.

Hmm, Amelia thought, this is going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comos de su cabeza - how is your head  
> La cena esta lista - the dinner is ready  
> Esta muy cansado - he's very tired
> 
> Sorry if the Spanish isn't correct, I used google translate!


	3. The man now in her home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The air was full of tension as the three of them ate around the table. Amelia glanced over at her mother, who stared at Nevada with every bite she took from her plate. Amelia then looked towards Nevada, who seemed to be oblivious to her mami’s glares.

The air was full of tension as the three of them ate around the table. Amelia glanced over at her mother, who stared at Nevada with every bite she took from her plate. Amelia then looked towards Nevada, who seemed to be oblivious to her mami’s glares. He was tucking into the pork wholeheartedly, shovelling the rice into his mouth and washing it all down with huge gulps of water. He gave her a sneaky smile as he caught her staring. She quickly cleared her throat and looked down at her plate again. She hoped he wouldn’t see her blush.

During the meal, Nevada had bumped his knee into hers. At first she thought it was an accident. The round table was so small that it was usual to hit elbows and legs off of each other. But when it happened again, and then after she felt his foot rub up and down her calf, she sighed and realised that he was playing. Nevada had also winked at her several times during the meal. Amelia took that as her cue to stand up and bring her plate over to the kitchen sink. 

Nevada eyed her up and down as she walked away, ignoring the grimace on her Mami’s face as he did so. He watched Amelia search in the freezer, then take out a huge tub of ice cream. He still remembered her favourite; mint chip on a chocolate cone. When they were dating, he took her to Coney Island and treated her to the best ice cream in New York. In his opinion of course, because she still favoured the dessert from a tiny Italian restaurant in Queens. He even won a soft teddy at one of those carnival games for her. He could still smell the sweet fragrance of her hair as she hugged him and held the teddy tight in her arms. They stayed out all night, watching the flashing lights of the amusements and looking out over the water at the reflections. He could still taste her lips as she kissed him, her strawberry gum staining her lips and tongue.

“Ahem!!”  
Nevada looked up to see her Mami standing over him and gesturing to his plate. He simply nodded and called out to Amelia, who was eating spoonfuls out of the tub.

“Carino” he grinned, “save some for me”.  
Amelia reluctantly walked over to him, she knew her Mami was not pleased with him in the apartment. She hoped he would leave soon after the dessert. Amelia plonked the ice cream on the table and set a bowl and spoon in front of him.

“Sit” he waved to the wooden chair beside him. She sat down and put her elbows on the table so she could rest her head in her hand. 

“Tut tut, such bad table manners” his smile got wider as he grabbed the spoon and dug into the soft ice cream out of the tub.

“Nevada, please, what are you doing here”, she looked over her shoulder to check on her Mami. “Papi is ill, we don’t need more stress from you being here, please”.

“Have you missed me?” he asked, his voice deep and curious.

Amelia tilted her head. “After what you put me through, no”.  
“Don’t be like that carino”  
“Stop calling me that Nevada. We’re not teenagers anymore”. She took in his oiled hair, gold cross and his expensive black leather jacket. “You obviously haven’t been up to any good”.

Nevada threw back his head and laughed.  
"You not like bad boys anymore?" he teased.  
Amelia watched as her Mami left the kitchen in a hurry, blessing herself as she did. She rubbed her eyes and looked up to the heavens for a solution.

“You should come over to my home some time”, he wiped his mouth on a napkin left on the table. “It would be like old times” he wiggled his eyebrows.

Amelia just shook her head and played with her spoon on the table. Her and Nevada dated until she was nineteen. Nevada had started going to clubs, socialising with questionable characters, dealing drugs – or rather, getting his guys to do it. She knew he had tried to shield her from all that. She didn’t like when he would go to strip clubs and she voiced her thoughts to him several times. She even forgave him when she caught him in an embrace with a random girl outside a club while he left her inside.

But she had become tired of his sneakiness and his lying of his whereabouts and actions so she started to ignore his messages and calls. He didn’t give up easily, pounding on her door after midnight, calling her name outside her building so she’d hear through the open windows, waiting outside for her when she would leave for work. Everything became very serious when she had been caught up in a crossfire between two rival gangs, one of them being Nevada’s. He left her on the road, bleeding from a shoulder wound. A passerby called the police who then called an ambulance. Amelia spent a whole night in the emergency department getting tetanus shots and stitches. She had never heard from Nevada after. Although the wound was completely healed up now, it still itched from time to time.

“Nevada just go home. Your men are probably tired out there” she begged.  
“Ha, they work for me. I tell them when they can go home and rest”. His eyes looked so cold when he said that, it made her shudder.

Amelia leant back in her chair and closed her eyes, She could feel a pain start in her temples. She heard a squeak and dragging of the wooden chair. She opened her eyes to meet Nevada’s, he had pulled his chair so close that his face was only inches from hers. He had thrown his arm around her shoulder and rested the other over her lap. He gently stroked her knee as he spoke, 

“I’ve missed you”.  
Amelia only rolled her eyes and faced forward. She didn’t want to get tied up with him again. She didn’t want to get hurt again or upset her Papi, his heart was too frail.

Nevada pressed his nose into her cheek and kissed her.   
“I miss your wit, your humour”. He kissed her again and squeezed her thigh, “I miss your kiss, the feel of your skin, your touch”.

Amelia felt her heartbeat race. She stood up suddenly and stepped back from the table. She felt his eyes undress her, she didn’t like how much he had changed, how he now made her feel uncomfortable.

“You look so good, I need you again, I want you” he licked his lips. “The things I would do to you, I could pleasure you so hard you’d scream louder than two cats mating”. 

Amelia crossed her arms over her chest.  
“I’m more than tits and ass y’know. I thought you loved me for me, not for a bit of fun”.

Her face went red as she realised she had said love. She had never said that to Nevada before. She cursed to herself. “Papi’s getting up now, you need to leave”. She just wanted him away from her, she hoped he didn’t hear what she had just said.

Nevada stood and approached her. He ran his fingers down her arms to hold her hands. Amelia stood tall, not letting her eyes waiver. She couldn’t show weakness, because if he saw it, he would use it to get her back. And she couldn’t let that, she thought, no matter how much………….she cleared her throat.

“Nevada please”  
Nevada ignored her as he massaged the palms of her hands with his thumbs. He released them so he could place his hands on her hips and pull her towards him. Their hips were touching as Nevada leant forward to suck her neck. She managed to stifle a sigh. Nevada kissed a trail from behind her ear, over her cheekbone to her lips. He kissed gently at first, nipping at her bottom lip as he moved his hands up her back.

Amelia kept her arms at her side as memories flooded back. The first time she met Nevada, how he saved her from those bullies. Their summer days spent in parks all over the City, eating ice cream and lying under the summer sky. Their first kiss, their first night together, how he took such care of her then. 

Amelia felt herself getting lost in the moment, in the heat of the moment. It seemed like a story of long lost lovers reuniting. She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling him smile against his lips. He whispered into her mouth,

“Be with me. Tonight. I need you”.

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY AMELIA”.

Amelia pushed herself away from Nevada roughly. Her Papi stood by the kitchen door, her Mami hiding behind him. Her Papi gripped his cane as he steadied himself. He looked pasty and weak. He could never rest knowing his Amelia could be sucked into the crime underworld by an old boyfriend, who now happened to rule the Heights.

“Papi don’t shout, you’ll stress yourself, por favour..”

Her Papi ignored her completely. He pointed his cane at the door, then at Nevada.  
“Vete de aqui bastardo”.

Nevada only smirked as he looked from him to Amelia and back to him again. Amelia shook her head,  
“Just go”.

Nevada turned and sauntered to the front door. He gripped the knob and saluted to Amelia as he was about to leave,

“Hasta luego carino”.

The door slammed behind him. He was finally gone Amelia thought.

But for how long now, she wondered. She looked at her Papi, he had sat down on the chair Nevada had risen from. He was struggling to catch a breath.

And at what cost, she worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vete de aqui bastardo - Get the hell out of here, you bastard.


	4. The man now in her bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was two weeks later when Amelia saw Nevada again.

It was two weeks later when Amelia saw Nevada again. She first noticed the dark SUV parked outside a bodega on 133rd. She watched as Nevada left the shop surrounded by three large men and get into the SUV. As it drove past her, it slowed down so he could roll down his window and shout out her name. She kept looking straight ahead and didn’t respond. Nevada only wanted her attention, he would grow tired if she wouldn’t play along, like before she thought.

Amelia worked hard over the next months. Twelve hour shifts at the hospital, then caring for her Papi at home. He seemed to be getting more tired and weaker. He found it hard to leave the bed without pausing to catch a breath. Soon he found himself bedbound, with her Mami and Amelia taking turns to bring him his meals. It was early January, when Amelia had just returned from work when he passed away suddenly. The ambulance were called to the apartment and he was taken to the funeral home. The medic tried to comfort them, but Amelia and her Mami just held each other and cried.

The funeral was held in the cemetery two days later. Amelia decided to take some time off work, she had been saving up her holidays to take her parents on a cruise some day. Poignantly, she used the money set aside for this to pay for all the expenses. At least Papi was at peace, she prayed. There was a modest turn out for the mass and burial, just her Papi’s old friends and colleagues from the Fire Brigade and the neighbours from the apartment block.

She spotted the SUV parked outside the cemetery gates. She couldn’t believe he would have the nerve to show up here. She marched down the path to the front gate to see Nevada leaning against the side of the car, puffing away on a cigarette. When Nevada saw her approaching, he threw it away and held his arms out to her.

“Carino..” he said softly.

Amelia found it too hard to hold back her tears, they were streaming down her cheeks. She shoved him hard in the shoulder, causing him to fall back a little.

“I told you” she roared, “to leave me alone, to leave us alone…” she couldn’t continue what she wanted to say, she had broken down into sobs. 

Nevada stared at her for a second before gathering her in his arms. She fought him initially, but gave in when she felt the warmth emanating from his chest and arms. She dug her face into his chest, well aware her tears would stain his clothing. But she didn’t care. And neither did Nevada. He only held her closer and placed little kisses into her hairline as he hushed and hummed to help calm her.

It eventually worked. Soon her cries lessened to whimpers, and her eyes dried up, leaving them red and sore. She hadn’t realised she was wiping her nose on his jacket until he pointed it out, 

“I’m not a Kleenex” he whispered.

She let out a laugh and tucked her head into his neck further, breathing in his scent.

“Sorry”.  
He kissed the top of her head. “Anytime”.

She smiled as she let go of him and stepped back a little. Nevada wiped her cheeks as she looked down, her mind vacant of words or thoughts. Glancing over his shoulder, she saw a bouquet of white lilies lying on top of the bonnet of the SUV.

“Are they for me?” She nodded towards the flowers.

Nevada peeked over his shoulder, before reaching back and grabbing them. He handed them to Amelia. “For you. And your Papi”.

Amelia felt her eyes water again. The flowers were beautifully arranged - big white lilies with yellow stamens mixed with green feathery stalks and stems. 

“He hated you” she muttered weakly, “Doesn’t seem right to put your flowers on his grave”. 

Nevada frowned. “I wasn’t terrible all the time”.  
Amelia stared up at him, “You left me on the road with a gunshot wound in my shoulder, I could have bled out or got an infection. Poor Papi almost had a heart attack when he heard I was in the Emergency”.

Nevada put his hands in his pockets and scratched his shoes on some loose grave near the kerb. He sniffled and looked down, unable to meet Amelia’s eyes. Amelia didn’t care enough to feel sorry for him at the moment, she felt too numb and broken.

“Thanks for the flowers” she said and turned to walk away, when Nevada caught her hand.

“Come over tonight”.

Amelia nearly exploded. “I have just lost Papi, do you really think I’m in the mood to fuck you?!”.

She watched as his mouth moved to form words but only resulted in silence.  
“I didn’t mean it in that way”, Nevada struggled to explain. “I…I know what its like to feel alone”. He cast his gaze down at his feet again. “I thought you might want some company”.

Amelia responded harsher than she had intended. “I have Mami. I don’t need you”. She saw hurt flash across his face, his eyes looked soft and vulnerable. That indifference he portrayed at her kitchen table was gone. He opened the SUV door and signalled to his driver to start moving. Amelia caught the door before it closed and leant into the car. The interior smelt strongly of cigars.

“There’s em” she hesitated, “we’re having a little memorial tonight at the apartment, telling stories of Papi, some food, just friends and the neighbours will be there. If you want to come over, I don’t think there should be a problem”.

She watched Nevada mull it over. She had never thought of Nevada being lonely before. She knew he never had a family like hers and probably resented that. He did used to call her ‘Little Miss Perfect’ when they were younger. She had become lost in thought that she almost missed his reply.

“I have business to take care of first. I’ll be there late”.

Amelia knew the memorial would most likely be over by the time Nevada would be thinking of arriving. But she didn’t have the heart to hurt him twice today.

“Ok. See you then”. She closed the door as Nevada wound down the window. He flashed a smirk as the car accelerated down the road. She hoped she hadn’t had been played, it was hard for her to know which side of Nevada was actually real. She guessed she would find out later.

The memorial was a wonderful send off for her Papi. His friends told forgotten stories from his young days, making the room howl with laughter. Her Mami reminisced how they had first met as children, growing up together, being their first loves. It reminded Amelia of her and Nevada. She found herself glancing at the clock throughout the evening, wondering if he would actually show up. It was now 12.30am and the guests were beginning to filter home. Amelia was helping her Mami clean up when a loud knock resonated on the door. Nevada stood behind it, holding a wooden box in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

They said no greetings to each other at the door, just a simple nod. Amelia waved him to come inside. He was met with suspicious stares from her Mami. At least no wooden spoon this time he observed. 

“Busy crowd” he said sarcastically as he saw the empty living area beyond the kitchen.  
“Everyone left a while ago” Amelia countered, taking the whiskey and small box from him and leaving them on the counter. 

Nevada picked and munched on some pretzels from one of the serving bowls.  
“I got held up. Unruly client. Had to set him straight” he grinned. 

Amelia’s Mami decided she had had enough of the evening and retired to bed. Before she left the two of them, she handed Amelia her rosary beads. “There is some holy water above the TV too”. Nevada snorted and walked through the kitchen to sit on the sofa. He put his feet up on the table in front and sighed loudly as he relaxed into the soft couch. 

“Bring over the whisky, and two glasses” he called to Amelia.

She did as he asked, and rested on the sofa beside him, leaving a comfortable distance between them on the seat. She watched as he opened the bottle of whiskey and poured the alcohol into the tumblers. He handed one to her and clinked the glasses before taking a sip. Amelia watched his throat move as he gulped it down, she thought he looked tired.

The last time the two of them sat on the sofa, her parents were out working and Nevada had come over with the pretence of needing tutoring. They both knew Nevada had great intelligence; his main problem was applying himself. Instead of studying, they had ended up watching an old Christmas movie. She had scolded him for lighting up a cigarette and he flicked it out the window to annoy her further. Nevada loved when she got worked up, the veins in her neck would stick out and her eyes would light up with rage. They had ended up in her bed. He could still remember how she looked, like an angry goddess on top of him. He had to creep out of her window down the fire escape when her parents had arrived home soon after. She had only just managed to put her nightdress on before her Mami came in to check on her.

She smiled at the memory. Nevada turned a little towards her on the sofa as he draped his arm around her shoulder. He stole a quick kiss before she had the chance to move her head away.

“What are you smiling at carino?”

His lips tasted of whiskey. “Nothing” she shrugged. She stayed quiet as she reminisced over her school days. The first day of playschool when Papi walked her to the gate, her not wanting to let go of his hand when it was time for him to leave. The joy on his face when she won first prize in the local art competition, the price being a digital camera. She remembered them both spending all weekend in Manhattan, acting like tourists and taking photos of anything and everyone. She would be so excited to come home to tell any news to her Papi, and he delighted in her recanting of the events.

When she learnt of his diagnosis, she cried throughout the night. Her Papi had heard her through the thin bedroom walls and went in to comfort her. She remembered her Papi’s cough getting worse gradually, until he found it hard to catch a breath. That was when he stopped going outside, he felt too unsteady for the busy city streets. The last few weeks of his life were hard for him, and difficult for Amelia and her Mami to watch. At least he had no pain, they had rationalised after his death. They were the ones now left hurting. 

Amelia was struggling to keep the newly formed tears at bay, and her breathing was starting to waiver. Nevada huddled her close to him when he heard her sniffles. He rubbed her back and arms, and lifted her legs so they were on his lap. She felt safe in his embrace, as if they were young again. She played with the gold chain around his neck.

“Is that your abuelo’s?”. she sniffed. She felt him nod.  
“I got it for him shortly before he passed”.

Amelia stayed quiet, she knew Nevada had been close to him. She tried to reach out to Nevada when she had heard the news, but didn’t know if her presence would be welcome. She presumed he was finished with her and moved on. Amelia felt her eyes swollen and red. Her body suddenly felt heavy and she longed to lie down. She sat back, as Nevada kept his hold tight on her.

“Thank you for coming. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna lie down now”.  
Nevada stared at her hand before replying, “I’ll leave”.

As he stood, Amelia felt the cold air of the apartment hit her. She started shivering. She held on to his hand, 

“Would you stay with me, just tonight?” she whispered. She wanted his heat.  
He hesitated for a second before giving her a single nod and finished his drink.

Nevada followed her silently into her room and watched as she quickly stripped to her t-shirt and panties and slipped into the bedsheets. Nevada took his time; removing his jacket, unbuttoning his shirt, pulling his vest over his head, unbuckling his belt and dropping his jeans onto the floor. She watched as he creeped into the bed, like a lion stalking his prey. Her hands were cold against his hot chest. She took off his chain and leant back to lay it on the bedside table behind her. As she stretched to reach it, she felt his hands hold her waist and draw her close to him. She turned back to him and studied his eyes. They looked curious, like he was trapped in wonderment. 

She held his face in her hands, “Only tonight, ok?” 

He smirked but she put a finger to his lips when he was about to speak. She wasn’t in the mood for teasing, and she didn’t want to ruin this moment. She moved down the pillow slightly to place her head on his chest. His deep breaths were soothing and he ran his fingers through her long hair. She slowly drifted to sleep as he bundled the sheets around them. She slept peacefully that night, the first night in years.


	5. The man now in her bed part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia woke up sometime in the early hours of the morning. Nevada was lying on his side facing her, both his hands tucked under the pillow and his mouth slightly open.

Amelia woke up sometime in the early hours of the morning. She glanced at her clock: 5.30am. She sighed and peeped over her shoulder. Nevada was lying on his side facing her, both his hands tucked under the pillow and his mouth slightly open. He looked so innocent and restful there she thought. She slipped out of the bed and tucked the duvet around him as she walked around the bed towards the door. She heard him stirring, then sighing as she closed the door behind her.

She hurried to the toilet before heading to check on her Mami. She seemed to be sleeping. Amelia shut her door quietly before returning to her room. Nevada was awake and lying on his back, his head resting on his arm. He raised his eyebrows as he watched her circle the bed and slide under the covers to lie on her side facing away from him. Amelia felt the mattress shift, then his arm wrap around her waist. She felt his lips on the back of neck, rubbing against her skin and placing little kisses over her shoulders. His breath tickled as he moved closer so that she could feel his groin pressed against her hips.

“Stop it” she grumbled. She felt his smirk against her neck, as he made little delicate bitemarks on her skin. She suddenly remembered.

“You brought a little wooden box last night”.  
“Mmm-hmm?”

She twisted her back so she could see his face. He looked mischievous, as if ready for play.

“So what’s in it?”  
He pinched her waist and whispered low in her ear, “Go get it and I’ll show you”.

Amelia hadn’t the energy to make him go into the kitchen so she left the bed again, pulling her t-shirt down so that it might stretch further over her hips. She ignored his heated gaze and collected the box that was still sitting on the kitchen counter. It was oblong shaped and of medium weight. She gave it a curious shake – no great sound came from it. When she returned to her room, Nevada had thrown back the bedcover and was sitting upright in the bed. He was twirling something in his right hand. He wolf-whistled at her and delighted in her blush as she sat on her side of the bed and covered herself up to her neck with the duvet. She tried to ignore his bare chest and his muscles that twitched when he moved. He had gotten more muscular and hairier since she last saw him naked.

She handed him the box silently.  
“Thank you carino”  
She ignored him as she watched him flip the gold latch on the side of the box. The smell of tobacco filled the room as the lid flew back. She leant forward to see 6 cigars in the box, each in their sealed wrapping.

“Papi used to smoke the same ones” she spoke softly as she recalled.  
“I know. I thought we could have one in his memory”.

She looked at him in surprise. She never knew he could be so sentimental. She nodded in agreement and watched as Nevada gestured to the box.

“Pick one”.

She lifted one out of the box and handed it to him, his fingers touching hers. He tore the plastic seal with his teeth and unwrapped it, then bit the end of the cigar and spat it into a cup on the bedside locker. He held the lighter he had in his right hand to one of the ends as he took a few deep inhales. He threw back his head and blew out puffs of blue smoke into the air above them. He handed the cigar to Amelia.

He watched as she held the cigar awkwardly with her thumb and forefinger. She had never smoked before so she slowly placed the cigar in her mouth and breathed in. Nevada watched her wrap her lips around the end of the cigar, he couldn’t help his mind wander. He smiled when Amelia started coughing and passed it back to him.

“Disgusting” she wiped her mouth.  
Nevada took another drag on the cigar. “An acquired taste” he smirked.

Amelia became very pensive.  
“The cancer ate away at Papi’s lungs. He couldn’t do anything he enjoyed anymore”.

Nevada stayed quiet. He stared at the cigar in his hand, watching it go down. He flicked the ashes into the cup before taking a few more puffs. He glanced sideways at Amelia, who slid down the bed to rest her head on the pillow. She reached out to squeeze his arm.

“Thank you. That was a lovely thought”.  
She swore he was trying to hold back a tear. He bit his lip before throwing the end of the cigar into the cup. He lay down beside her on the pillow. They stayed still and stared up at the ceiling. Amelia felt compelled to ask now, she didn’t know when she would see this side of him again.

“Why did you leave me that day?”  
“What day?”  
“The day I got hurt”.

Silence. She felt Nevada fidgeting under the covers. He finally spoke,

“They appeared out of nowhere. We chased them away but if I had gone back for you, they would know how much I care for you and they would come back to hurt you”. Another pause. “Most likely when I wouldn’t be there to protect you. I wouldn’t want that, ever”.

Amelia thought it over. It sounded……logical.  
“But you could have checked up on me”.  
“I have men working everywhere, back then and now. I knew you were in safe hands in the Emergency”.

He lay on his side and turned her head towards him.  
“You have always been special to me”.

Amelia’s heart fluttered. She shuffled towards him and studied his face. Those lips, that chin, those perfect green eyes. She couldn’t resist as she kissed him tenderly. He held her face tight. She trailed her hands up and down his chest, finally stopping on his left breast over his heart. Nevada deepened the kiss quickly, darting his tongue into her mouth and licking her lips. He grinded his hips against hers, causing her to moan quietly. As he went to move on top of her, she stopped him.

“I can’t”.  
“What?” he was confused.  
“I promised myself, and Mami and Papi. I don’t want to be caught up in your world again”. She couldn’t meet his glare.  
His nails dug into the sheets around her. He jumped out of the bed and started dressing.

“Who the fuck do you people think I am? El Diablo?” he spat out.  
“Well they do call you Trujillo”.  
“I work hard and play hard. If I encounter a problem along the way, I deal with it” he cast her a look. “At least I’m not some puta who invites men into her bed and leads them on, then rejects them the next morning”.

Amelia lost her temper. It wasn’t often that this happened.

“Fuck you, pendejo. I told you before you got in that this was only for one night. I don’t let anyone in my bed, though I hear you have a conveyor belt of women for yours”.

Nevada stormed over to her in the bed and leant over her, his hands on either side of her neck. She became frightened as she watched his eyes darken and his face become cold. He held her down for a minute before standing up straight and picking up his gold chain off her locker. He grabbed his leather coat and pulled it on slowly, making sure she knew he was the one in control here.

“Some day you will need me. And you better pray to your fucking god that I’m in a good mood that I don’t play and string you along”.

Amelia stayed quiet as she watched him leave her bedroom. She heard the front door slam shortly after. She pulled the covers over her head and let out a few harsh cries. Her chest felt tight, her head was pounding. She forced herself to try to sleep, to forget the pain of her loss. 

First of her father.

And then of Nevada.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trujillo - it was mentioned in Trouble in the Heights behind the scenes video on Youtube. Trujillo was a brutal former dictator of the Dominican Republic.


	6. The men in the club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had managed to avoid meeting Nevada since her Papi’s memorial. She knew he was probably still seething but she didn’t feel like she should be the one to grovel for his forgiveness. He had first called her a puta, then stared and held her down on the bed just to scare her.
> 
> And it worked.

Amelia’s ears were overwhelmed with the shouts, groans and panics from the patients lying in beds around her. She worked from one side of the room to the other, checking their names and medications. She was posted in the Emergency until 6am, another five hours to go she sighed. She liked nursing and had finally qualified as a registered nurse but recently she hadn’t been feeling well. She was plagued with nightmares and queasiness when she tried to sleep which left her exhausted when she had to work long shifts. She had managed to avoid meeting Nevada since her Papi’s memorial. She knew he was probably still seething but she didn’t feel like she should be the one to grovel for his forgiveness. He had first called her a puta, then stared and held her down on the bed just to scare her.

And it worked.

Amelia was handed a file of the next patient to be looked after: Victor Hernandes, age 30. She read over his medical history as she walked to the assigned cubicle. She drew back the curtain to find a medium built, dark haired man sitting upright on the trolley. His head was buried in his hands and he kicked his feet against a nearby IV drip stand. 

“Victor Hernandes?”

He looked up over his hands and nodded weakly. His face looked pale, as if he had lost a lot of blood.

“My name is Amelia, I’m one of the ER nurses, what brings you here today?”

“I hurt my back, its bleeding”.

Amelia put on some sterile gloves as she circled around the bed to have a look. She could see straight away that the wound was quite serious as the back of his t-shirt was completely soaked through with blood. She moved the piece of clothing up his back to examine it: a deep gash from his shoulder blade to his tailbone with torn skin around the edges of the wound.

“How did this happen?” Amelia asked, out of curiosity rather than medical necessity.

“Bar fight. Guy hit me with beer bottle”.

She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. A glass bottle wouldn’t pierce his flesh so deeply and leave such a wide wound. But it wasn’t her business to query him more.

“If you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’ll get a needle and some stitches and we’ll get your back fixed up ok?”.

Victor watched Amelia remove her gloves, write something in her files and smile briefly before leaving him alone again. He liked how she didn’t question him even though he knew she didn’t believe his story. He had also noticed how pretty she was, with beautiful eyes and long soft brown hair. He rubbed his hands thoughtfully when she returned with a tray of supplies.

“Do you mind taking your shirt off for me”

“Absolutely” he complied immediately. Amelia was distracted momentarily by the tattoos down his arms and chest. She put on a new pair of gloves as she spoke again.

“So, this is the needle and stitches I’ll use to close over the wound on your back. It’s quite deep so I’ll clean it first with alcohol swabs and put an antimicrobial dressing over it to stop infections. Is that ok?”

Victor smiled and nodded as she turned her attention to his back. She worked carefully to ensure maximum healing. He winced as Amelia pushed the needle through his skin.

“You’re doing well, almost finished now” she reassured him.

“How long you been working here?” Victor asked as she began applying the dressing.  
“A few years as a student nurse, I qualified earlier this year”.  
“You’re good at what you do” Victor attempted to flirt.  
“Haha thanks”.   
“Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

Amelia was taken back a little by his fowardness. She had experienced a lot over her years in Emergency but this was the first time she had been asked out.

“I think you need to rest your back instead of thinking about dating” Amelia countered.

“C’mon, you’re gorgeous, come out with me” he asked as Amelia walked round the trolley to face him again and remove his gloves. “There’s a club on 140th, its just opened, my crew and I will be there”.

Amelia studied his face. He seemed friendly and was definitely goodlooking, but the tattoos unnerved her a bit.

“I don’t do clubs”. She referred to his inkwork, “Or crews”.

He stood up, rubbed his hands through his hair and pulled on his shirt.

“If you change your mind, tomorrow night around 10pm, Club Gold on 140th”.

He winked at her before he left. She thought it over as she cleaned up. Her last relationship was three years ago, and her latest run in with Nevada hadn’t been positive for her. She needed a distraction from work, from her sadness and pain.

What’s there to lose, she shrugged, let’s give it a go.

 

The club was packed when Amelia arrived shortly after 10pm. She secured her clutch under her arm as she walked through the crowd to the bar. Though she had chosen to go out of her comfort zone by coming to the club, she kept her outfit modest. A full length black dress with a slit to her calf on one side with a dark demin jacket. She kept her hair down but added a pair of gold studs and scarlet red lipstick to glam up her appearance. She felt out of place in the dimly lit venue as she watched throngs of women in skimpy clothing dance and gyrate next to eager men on the floor. 

She ordered whisky from the bar and blushed as the bartender pursed his lips at her. She swivelled around on her heels to look for Victor. She found herself thinking about him since he left the Emergency yesterday. Amelia took a sip of her drink when she saw him swagger across the dancefloor with two other men. She started to regret her decision to come here. The other men were pulling women towards them and grinding against them. Victor then looked across to the bar, saw Amelia and waved to her.

Amelia cleared her throat as she watched him weave through the dancers to reach her. She smiled nervously as he reached for her hand and kissed it.

“You came” he eyed her up and down, “You look hot!”.  
“Thanks” Amelia replied. She was eager to get home, even though she had just arrived. “I can’t stay long, I have work in the morning” she lied.

“Ahh noo” he looked genuinely disappointed. Maybe she had misread the whole situation and he wasn’t like his…crew. “At least come meet my guys, they’re sitting over there”.

He pointed to the far side of the room, where Amelia could see steps and a gold rail leading up to a raised platform and red curtains. Victor placed his arm around her back to guide her towards the secluded area. She planned to sit with them for a few minutes and then excuse herself to the restroom. This way, she could leave them without attracting attention. 

She followed him up the steps, one hand on the railing while clasping her glass in the other. He pushed her through the gap in the curtains so she faced a row of poorly lit black booths being served by barely dressed waitresses. The whole area reeked of sleeze to Amelia. She put on a smile as she let him lead her to the last booth on the corner.

“Guys, this is the hottie that sewed me up last night” he highfived some of the men around the booth as they hollered and banged on the table. Amelia could hardly make out these men’s faces, clouded by cigar smoke and hoods over their heads. Her heart stopped when one figure stood out to her. 

He was seated in the centre, his gold chain and cross almost luminous in the low light. He stared back at her, releasing a puff of smoke as he removed the cigar from his mouth. The men around him noticed Nevada’s tension and became quiet. With a flick of his hand, the men on one side of the booth scattered so Nevada could get out. Amelia moved back as he stepped towards her. Her cheeks felt hot under his glare. He gripped her arm and pulled her away from the men, down the steps outside the curtains and dragged her through the crowd to a black door near the bar. 

He swung the door behind them as she fumbled her way into the dark room. Suddenly a bright light overhead came on and Amelia had to shield her eyes with her hand for a moment. When her eyes had adjusted, she could see she was in a small office. She could feel Nevada behind her. He still hadn’t said a word until now.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he sounded furious.  
She faced him before she answered, though she kept her head down as she spoke. “I helped Victor in the Emergency, he invited me here, I thought I’d try it………….”

“This is not a place for you” he spat out.

“I’m entitled to go wherever I want Nevada”.  
“And are you enjoying it?”

Amelia clasped her fingers tightly and sighed, “no.  
I just want to go home”.

Nevada put his cigar out on the desk, “I’ll take you”.

“No I’ll be ok”.

“You think I’m going to let you go home at night alone, get real”.

Amelia felt tears spring to her eyes. She sat down quickly on the desk and covered her face with her hands, hoping to hide her sniffles from Nevada. He stood beside her,

“What’s wrong now?” he was starting to get impatient.

“I feel so lost, so stupid, so alone” she cried out. God even to herself she sounded pathetic. 

Nevada hesitated, before rubbing her back slowly.  
“Let me take you home” and he sighed a breath of relief when she nodded. He held her hand as he walked her out of the club and signalled for his driver to get his car. He helped her in the SUV first and told the driver her address. The motion and heat of the car made her feel drowsy. She hadn’t realised she had fallen asleep until Nevada shook her slightly when they were parked outside her apartment. He walked her up to her door and Amelia made no objection when he followed her inside. She threw off her heels and jacket on the sofa and headed into her bedroom. Nevada left his leather coat over a kitchen chair and brought Amelia a glass of water. She was wrapped snugly under the duvet, her head buried in the pillows.

Nevada left the glass on the bedside locker and turned to leave.

“Thank you” he heard a faint voice from the bed. He didn’t reply.  
“I’m sorry” the voice whispered.

Nevada looked at her. Her eyes were peeking out from the bed clothes. From where he was standing he could see they were red and splotchy.  
“Just, take it easy”.

He grabbed his coat from the kitchen and headed for the front door.  
“Nevada..”

He glanced over his shoulder to see Amelia standing barefoot in her long dress at the sofa. Tears were starting to fall down her cheeks.

“Yes carino?” He felt his face soften and his cold exterior melt under her sad gaze. 

She rushed over to him, threw her arms around his neck and planted her lips on his. She scrapped her fingers along his scalp, making him feel weak at the knees. He held onto her waist, before moving his hands down over her hips. Amelia pushed her tongue into Nevada’s mouth and he sucked and rubbed his tongue against hers. She moaned and clung to him tighter, breaking the kiss and looking up at him through eyelashes.

“Stay with me, please”

He couldn’t say no to her, even as his instincts told him to refuse. To her surprise, he lifted her into his arms under her hips so she could wrap her legs around his waist. She kissed all over his face as he carried her to the bed. He laid her down and flung off his shirt and trousers. He kept his cross on. Amelia pulled the dress over her head so she was before him in only her underwear. She pulled him on top, making space for his body between her knees. They kissed until they were out of breath. Nevada looked into her eyes, they were shining.

“Is this just for tonight?” Nevada asked softly, scared of her answer.

Amelia bit his lip and pressed him closer to her. She couldn’t respond, she didn’t know what would happen tomorrow morning. She was only thinking about now.

“I want you” she whispered against his mouth, “That’s all I know”.


	7. The girl now a woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia poured herself a drink as she watched the sunrise through the kitchen window. She sighed and looked towards her bedroom.

Amelia poured herself a drink as she watched the sunrise through the kitchen window. The world looked grey outside, the buildings almost blending into the pavements. She sipped the scotch from the glass, the liquid leaving a sour taste in her mouth as she swallowed. She sighed and looked towards her bedroom. She thought of Nevada behind the door, snoring in her bed. They had had sex twice last night. The first round was fast and rough. When they started again, Amelia told him to slow down. He did, and she began to enjoy herself as the session became very passionate. Nevada had remembered all her sweet spots from years ago. Now she dreaded what would happen this morning. She didn’t know what she wanted, she didn’t want to upset Nevada again. But she had consider the promise she made to her parents, and more importantly herself. She got injured before when she was with Nevada. With her Papi gone, she couldn’t put her Mami through that again.

She decided to return to the room. She opened the door quietly and peeked around to see Nevada was still sleeping. She closed it and headed for her side of the bed. As she pulled back the sheets, Nevada coughed and slowly opened his eyes. He saw Amelia had put a shirt on as she lay down beside him.

“Back for more carino?” he teased.  
“Shut up” she replied as she shut her eyes.

Nevada threw his arm over her and sat up slightly so he could look down at her. He smirked as she ignored him and kept her eyes closed. He kissed her, tasting the scotch on her lips.

“Pour a glass for me?”  
Amelia shushed him and pulled him towards her to meet his lips again. She curled her leg over his hips to press him closer. Nevada flipped them over so that she was now on top of him. She sat up and balanced herself with her hands on his chest. He squeezed her thighs so hard she was sure he would leave marks. She grinded down on him, making him groan.

“Take off your shirt” he ordered.  
“No” she bit her lip.  
He sat up quickly and ripped it off her, making her giggle. He moved her legs so they were crossed behind him and kissed down her chest. Amelia wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to rub against him until she could feel he was getting hard. 

“Ay Dios mio you’re so hot”.  
“Ssshh” Amelia whispered.  
Nevada nibbled her neck, “Fuck me”.

Amelia held his lips tight, which started to anger him. He batted her hand away and dug his nails into her back, making her gasp.

“You don’t tell me to shut it. Entiendes?”.

Amelia unwound her legs from his body and stood up from the bed. She could hear the fury in his voice even with her back turned to him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, one minute you can’t get enough of me, the next you turn into a cold bitch”.

“STOP TALKING!” Amelia shouted. Nevada had never heard her yell so loud before. She grabbed a blanket from the bed and threw it around her shoulders before slumping to the ground against the wall opposite the bed. She bent her knees towards her chest and rested her head on her hands. 

Nevada stared at her in silence. “What’s wrong?” he asked again, this time softer.  
He heard a few sniffles. She made no response. He sighed and got up from the bed, pulled up his boxers and crouched down beside her. He tentatively put a hand on her leg, watching for a reaction. 

“Remember that time I snuck out the window?” He waited for a nod before he continued. “Well when I got to the bottom of the escape, my pants caught on the railings”. He saw a smile cross her face. “I didn’t realise until I was about to jump to the ground, I almost did myself an injury”. He delighted in the shaking of her shoulders as she laughed into the blanket. “What a shame that would have been after such an amazing experience here”.

Amelia glanced sideways at him. His green eyes were wide with curiosity. They reminded her of all the times spent together as teenagers. She raised her head back to lean on the wall behind. He waited for her to speak.

“I’m confused” Amelia finally said. “I like you, I always have…” she ignored his smirk, “But I can’t do this again, to everyone. I have to focus on my job and taking care of Mami”.

“We both know you more than like me” he kissed her shoulder, just over the scar. 

“I can’t keep using you, its not fair”.

Nevada lifted her chin with his finger so their faces were only inches apart.   
“You love me”, he watched her lick her lips as she listened. “You know you belong to me, don’t fight it carino” he purred.

He pecked her wet lips slowly before grasping her hands and pulling her up to stand. He pushed her against the wall and placed his hands on either side of her face, his thumbs tracing her lips. Amelia looked thoughtful as she stared back at him. 

“Me quieres?” she needed to know.

Nevada was about to answer when the bedroom door suddenly opened. Amelia froze as she saw her Mami, she felt like she was 15 again. She saw her Mami’s face redden. 

“What is he doing here?” 

Nevada stood back and Amelia was mortified as her Mami could see she was naked under the blanket. She started yelling in Spanish at her, at Nevada. Amelia followed her into the kitchen to try and calm her down. She could hear Nevada trail behind them. Thank God he was wearing underwear Amelia thought to herself.

“Sleeping with that criminal?? What would your Papi say, how could you stoop so low?”

Nevada selected a shiny apple from the fruitbowl on the table and munched into it as he watched the drama unfold.

“Mami please, you’ve known Nevada for years. Don’t bring poor Papi into this”

“You should be dating a nice man, a nice Cuban doctor. Not some Dominican thug” she pointed to Nevada, who grinned at Amelia. 

“Have you no respect for yourself…” her Mami continued.

“Aye I’m a grown woman, I can sleep with anyone I want, I’m not a little girl anymore” Amelia’s chest was heaving. 

Her Mami stepped closer to her and pressed a finger into her arm, “Ok, chica, you so grown up now? Leave”.

“What?!” Amelia was shocked. Even Nevada’s crunching had ceased.

“If you want to cohort with thugs who use you and spit you up like garbage when they’re finished with you, then not under my roof”.

“Mami, I…”

“I want you gone by tonight. Such disrespect you’ve shown me and Papi”. She stormed off out of the kitchen down the corridor.

Amelia’s throat felt tight. She gripped the blanket tighter around her. Nevada hugged her from behind and pecked her cheek. She felt her eyes water as he mumbled in her ear, 

“Stay with me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Im not sure where I'm going with this anymore! I feel its getting a little repetitive, maybe I should just stick to the barba story.. thoughts?


	8. The first five nights at Nevada's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later in the afternoon, Nevada carried Amelia’s bag from the SUV to his apartment. She walked sullenly behind him, still shocked from her Mami’s outburst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i've finally decided what way this story is going to go! Hope you all like it, thanks again for all the help and support, cant say it enough

Later in the afternoon, Nevada carried Amelia’s bag from the SUV to his apartment. She walked sullenly behind him, still shocked from her Mami’s outburst. Nevada opened the door and held his arm around her shoulders as he walked her in. Everything was white; the walls, the rugs, the leather couches in front of the huge plasma TV. The kitchen had stainless steel cupboards and marble workbenches, with a breakfast island in the centre. From the kitchen, there were two steps leading down into the living area. At the far side where a wall should have been, there was only glass, looking down onto the Heights. Like a King gazing from his castle Amelia regarded amusedly. 

Nevada left her in the living room briefly to dump her bag in the bedroom. He joined her on the couch with freshly brewed coffee and cigars. Amelia shook her head at the cigars and only accepted the coffee. It was rich but bitter. She excused herself to have a shower. Nevada offered to help her, a smirk forming on his face. She wasn’t up to fooling around. She had just been kicked out of the family home, where she had lived since she had been brought home from the hospital as a newborn. She had her shower alone, muffling her cries in the sounds of the running water. She lay down on the bed and looked around her. White walls, white rugs and full glass windows. The setting felt cold and clinical. She eventually fell asleep, only waking once when she felt Nevada press himself into her back. She didn’t move or respond. She just closed her eyelids and willed herself to go back to sleep again.

The light hurt her eyes when the sun rose in the morning. The rays seemed to become magnified as they passed through the thin glass window panels. She realised she was alone, Nevada must have left sometime during the night. She made her way to the kitchen, the tile floors freezing her feet. She checked the fridge – nothing. The cupboards were also empty. Amelia sighed, then kicked the sideboards in frustration. She dressed quickly, grabbed her handbag and left. She was surprised at the number of men lining the corridor outside, the stairwell and even a man in the elevator. She felt relieved when she stepped outside on the pavement and the cold air hit her lungs. She walked to the diner down the road to get food, even though her stomach was unsettled.

Amelia ate her pancakes in silence until her phone buzzed. She raced to find it in her bag, hoping it was her Mami. Her heart sunk a little when the caller ID showed Nevada. She considered rejecting the call but rather than facing the wrath of her new landlord, she slid her finger across the screen.

“Hey” she answered.  
“Where are you?” His voice was sharp.  
“At your apartment” she lied.  
“Don’t get smart, I know you left”.  
Amelia held the phone out in front of her and stared at it, before returning it to her ear. It suddenly dawned on her. How could she have been so stupid.

“Your men” she sighed.  
“Yeah, they called me as soon as you skipped out. I don’t need this while I’m trying to get some business done”.  
“So you expect me to stay indoors all the time? I have work y’know”.

“Things are different now. You’re living with me, that information gets out, you could be a target to get to me” he explained sounding frustrated.

“Well there’s a simple solution to that” Amelia quipped back and hung up. She could find her own apartment and then make up with her Mami. She shouldn’t expect to live at home forever anyway she rationalised. She ignored the phone when it started buzzing again.

Nevada stormed in after nine in the evening. He saw Amelia reading on the couch and threw the book out of her hand.

“Hey!” she protested.  
He leant in close to her, his eyes burning into her face. “You don’t hang up on me, ever. Especially when you’re sitting on my sofa and sleeping in my bed”.

Amelia just raised her eyebrow. “Carino” she said mockingly and she saw his brows furrow. “I will be leaving this place whenever I wish. And I won’t answer the phone if I don’t want to either”. 

She watched as Nevada groaned, chewed his lip and sunk down beside her on the seat.  
“Why are you always so stubborn?”.

Amelia just shrugged. She watched him snigger and guide her to him. He stroked her cheek as he angled her lips towards his. “You look so beautiful tonight”.

Amelia smiled back and patted his knee, “You’re awful”.  
“Hmmm?” Nevada moved in closer, running his other hand through her hair.

“Trying to soften me up”.

He watched her intensely. “Is it working?”.  
She giggled and covered her face as he dove on top of her. She shifted down the sofa slightly so her head was on the armrest. Nevada starting kissing her while running his hands down her sides. He paused to admire her pouty lips and cheeks pink with blush.

“Should we retire to the bedroom madam?” he whispered, his eyes cloudy with lust. Her laughter drove him crazy as he pulled her up from the sofa and chased her to the bed. She lay down as he stripped fast and joined her under the covers. One by one, Nevada threw items of her clothing from under the duvet onto the floor. By midnight, they were panting and sweaty as she cuddled into his chest. In the morning, he was gone. Amelia felt sad and alone again.

Amelia spent the third night at work on night duty. She arrived back at Nevada’s exhausted and weary after eight am. She crawled into bed to catch up on her sleep. She didn’t see Nevada until late afternoon, when he arrived home briefly to fetch envelopes from a locked cabinet under his dresser. She was about to ask what they were when he shot her a ‘Don’t dare ask me’ look. He never asked her how she was or if she had even eaten seeing the kitchen was devoid of food. Amelia stayed quiet until he left and pulled the covers over her head. Nevada never returned so Amelia spent the fourth night in bed by herself.

After a long shift at the hospital, Amelia came home to Nevada on the fifth night and was greeted by 6 strangers sitting on the sofas. Nevada was in the grand armchair beside the wall bookcase, a glass of whiskey in his hand. The air around them was hazy from tobacco smoke but she recognised Victor in the middle of the sofa next to Nevada. As she had to walk past them, she was forced to say hello and shake their hands, under Nevada’s watchful eyes. She excused herself and escaped to the bedroom. Her stomach growled with hunger. It was after ten and she hadn’t eaten since lunchtime at the hospital canteen. She had bought icecream in the bodega on her way here. She kept it in the paperbag as she crept quietly down the hall. The talk grew silent as she made her way across the room quickly. She didn’t look at Nevada as she entered the kitchen away from the men. She fetched a spoon from a drawer, sat on a breakfast stool and with her back to the living area, fed herself the icecream.

Her heartbeat was in her ears as Nevada’s men stayed silent. Amelia felt so out of place here. She thanked the Lord when their chatter started up again and they ignored her. She felt eyes on her back as she ate. She had just decided to return to the bedroom when a finger tapped her shoulder.

“Amelia?”.  
She swung round on the stool to see Victor standing before her, his hands in his pockets.

“Victor, how are you?”.  
He nodded his head as he spoke. “Yeah good, good”.  
“Ok”. Amelia wondered why he was over here with her. She suspected Nevada was curious too. Victor kept staring at her.

“Hows your back?” Amelia attempted to hurry him along.  
“Bit sore sometimes”.  
“Try paracetamol”.  
“Yeah I will” he showed no signs of leaving. Instead he leaned into Amelia, placing his forearms on the table and sitting on the stool next to her.

“I just wanna apologise” he spoke in a hushed tone, “for chatting you up and asking you out. I didn’t know you belonged to Nevada”.  
Amelia forced a smile. “I don’t belong to anyone, this..” referring to her staying here, “..only happened a few days ago. But I appreciate the apology”.

Victor gave a small laugh, “You’re pretty outspoken for Nevada’s type. He normally goes for the dumb blonde type, no opinion, no objection haha”.

Amelia eyed him up and down. He didn’t get any hint of tension or coldness from Amelia as he continued. She was forced to move back a little as he sat closer, his breath was rotten.

“I know you guys argue, it’s not all lovey-dovey with you two. All I’ll say is, if you ever want something different, call me. I’d show you a good time” he winked.

“What’s going on here” Nevada’s voice filled the kitchen and forced Victor to stand up. Nevada shifted his gaze from Victor to Amelia, and then back to stay on Victor.

“Nothing boss, just apologising to Amelia for stepping in on your territory”.

Amelia had to fight the urge to call him out on referring her as ‘territory’. She didn’t want to invite him into more conversation. Nevada ordered him out and walked Amelia with his arm around her back to the bedroom. He slammed the door behind them.

“What the hell was that?” he questioned.  
She thought for a minute, “How long have you worked with him?”.

Nevada scoffed. “First of all, he works FOR me. And that is none of your business. These are my most trusted men. Try and keep your pants on around them, entiendes?”

“Excuse me?! First of all” she set him straight, “I was minding my own business, he came over to me. Second of all, he said if I wanted a change from you, that I should hook up with him”. 

Amelia watched as Nevada took in her words.

“Mierda” he responded, but she could see there was doubt in his face.

“Have you known me to lie?” she stared at Nevada. He started grinding his teeth, she knew he would believe her over those pigs any day. She finally hit home what had occurred to her when Victor was speaking to her,

“If he’s willing to risk his life to hook up with his boss’s girlfriend, what else is he capable of?”

She realised after that she had called herself Nevada’s girlfriend, but he wasn’t focused on that. A mix of emotions crossed his face: disbelief, then worry, and finally determination.


	9. Girl and boy friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everything ok?” she asked cautiously.

Nevada’s men eventually left sometime in the early hours. Amelia had been lying in bed since he had escorted her to the bedroom. She heard booming voices and cheers, a door shutting and then finally silence. A few minutes later Nevada entered the room. Amelia turned slightly to look at him. He sat on the edge of the bed, sighed heavily and unbuttoned his shirt. She crawled towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Everything ok?” she asked cautiously.

Nevada grunted and stood up to pull down his pants. Her hand hung in the air until he sat back down again. She rubbed his back. 

“Hmmm?”

“Stop it” Nevada replied.  
“Stop what?”  
“Fishing. Victor needs his ego checked. But I’ve known him for years, he’s one of my trusted men. You’re just paranoid. As usual”.

Amelia returned to her side of the bed and thrashed the covers loudly around her.  
“Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you”.

Nevada looked over his shoulder at her.  
“What do you care anyway? I thought you didn’t want to be involved in my world. As your Mami says, I’m just a Dominican thug”. 

He studied her as she contemplated her response. 

“I still care about you, I don’t want to see you hurt that’s all”. 

She turned on her side away from him. She shut her eyes and ignored the rustling of sheets as Nevada joined her in the bed. She had a shirt on, but that didn’t stop him pulling it down at the back and placing little kisses on her neck. Amelia could feel the fabric cutting into her throat.

“You’re choking me”.  
“Will you finally shut up then?”. 

Amelia cursed at him. She could hear Nevada laughing as he pressed his mouth to her neck. Soon, she felt his hands move under her shirt, over her waist and stomach. She hit his hand away when he tried to squeeze her breasts. 

“Be gentle with me carino” he teased.

She rolled over in the bed to face him and snuggled into the pillow. Nevada placed a hand at the back of her head as he kissed the side of her face exposed. She scratched his chest lightly with her nails, eliciting a groan from him when his lips ghosted over her ear.

“Admit it” he whispered.  
“Admit what?”.  
“That you like being here”.

Amelia moved back a little. Nevada noticed her face had become a little sad.  
“I don’t like the reason why I’m here” she muttered.

He watched as she started to bite her lips and fidget under the sheets. 

“Everything will work out with your Mami, just give her time” he tried to comfort her. She nodded quickly then changed the subject. Nevada remembered her doing this when she was younger to avoid getting upset in front of people.

“Victor says you normally go for blondes”.  
His eyes narrowed, “And?”  
“Have you been with many women since we…. dated?”.

Nevada sniggered, much to her annoyance. He massaged her hips as he answered,  
“Jealous carino?”.

“Just tell me”. She looked worried.  
“I’ve had my share…” he pinched her thigh, “blondes, brunettes, a few feisty redheads thrown in just to spice things up” he amused.

Amelia gripped the covers around her. Nevada noticed her tensing up.  
“Why do you ask?”.

She looked everywhere but at him. When she didn’t respond immediately, he nipped at her leg again, making her jump. “Tell me”.

“I……I’m not…as experienced as you…normally..y’know…experience”.

Amelia frowned when he burst out laughing. The bed shook with his vibrations. Amelia felt mortified when he didn’t stop after a few minutes.

“Thanks Nevada, I’m trying to open up to you about my insecurities and you just laugh”.

“Carino, you weren’t exactly experienced when I met you” he moved to hold her face between her hands and lowered his voice, “but I still liked you, a lot”.

Amelia couldn’t help but beam. She knew that everyone around her always disapproved of Nevada but she liked him. She always did.

“Now, I heard you mention something about girlfriend. What was that about?” He flashed a grin, to which Amelia couldn’t resist laughing. He kissed her and bit her lip, his grin widening when she threw her arm around him and continued the kiss.

“Nevada?” her eyes shining.  
“Yes?”  
“Will you be my boyfriend?”

Nevada had a flashback from when she had first asked him that as a teenager. She looked so pretty back then. Now she was beautiful.

“Emmm” he toyed with her, “only if you treat me right”.

She squealed playfully as he grabbed her and pulled her on top of him. She nibbled his ear and rubbed her nose against his stubble. She gazed down at him, her initial worry coming back into her mind.

“But you will be careful around him, I don’t trust that guy, he’s too trustworthy”.

Nevada stared at her as if she had three heads. “He’s so trustworthy that he can’t be trusted, yeah that makes sense”.

“He’s trying to be everyone’s friend; apologising to me, sucking up to you. It’s like he wants in on something” Amelia tried to explain.

Nevada sighed and rubbed his eyes slowly. “Leave it to me, don’t get involved. Don’t go playing Miss detective yeah?”.

Amelia agreed reluctantly.


	10. Meeting Mami, and then Victor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia smiled when she thought back to last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on the previous chapters, so very much appreciated!

Amelia smiled when she thought back to last night. Nevada had thrown her onto her back and kissed a trail down her stomach. He rubbed his beard against the delicate skin on her inner thigh before pleasuring her with his mouth. She screamed as her back arched off the bed. Nevada didn’t stop there, towering over her and pulling her up to sit on his lap. He guided her grinding, making her grip his back when she came. Nevada followed shortly after. The two of them stayed in that position for a while, feeling their stomachs touch as they breathed the air between them.

Nevada noticed Amelia daydreaming. 

“Hey”.

Amelia turned her head on the pillow to look at him. He was still flushed from the night.

“What you thinking about?”.

She pouted her lips at him, “you”.

Nevada ran his hands over her waist and hips. He pecked her lips slowly, making her melt in his arms. He spoke softly,

“How many have you had?”.  
“Hmm?”.  
“Boyfriends”. Nevada drew the word out.

Amelia looked at his chin, “one or two”.  
He smirked, “one or two, so one had their leg out the door?”.

She rolled her eyes. “Ha ha very funny”.  
He raised his eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. 

“One very serious, the other not so”.  
“Ah” Nevada was hoping she would elaborate but she didn’t. She traced her finger along his chest.

“I might go see Mami today, see if she’ll talk to me”.  
“Sounds good. Send her my love” he added sarcastically.

Amelia shook her head as he jumped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. She sighed and looked to the ceiling, “por Dios”.

She arrived at the family apartment in the late afternoon. She thought about knocking, but it was still her home and she had her key. She opened the door slowly and was met by her Mami in the kitchen. Her face was grim.

“Chica”.  
“Mami”.

An awkward silence. 

“Mami I don’t want to disappoint you”.  
“And I don’t want you cavorting with criminals, but there you are”.

“But I’ve known Nevada since we were teenagers” Amelia protested.

“Once a thug, always a thug”.

Amelia sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you about a guy”.

Her Mami threw the kitchen cloth over her shoulder, put her hand on her waist and pointed at Amelia. “Are you staying with him?”.

“Well I wouldn’t have to if I wasn’t kicked out from here”.

“You brought that on yourself, allowing that man to stay here, in Papi’s home, in your bed. You both had no clothes on in your room, I doubt sleeping was all you did….”.

“Mami!!” Amelia protested. “Please, please can we be ok again? Can I come over on Saturday for lunch?”. She watched her Mami consider it.

“Ok, but no Nevada, I don’t want him here”.

Amelia hugged and thanked her. One step closer to getting their relationship back to normal she thought. She left the apartment excited. She checked her watch: 5.40pm. She tried ringing Nevada but no response. She started walking down the street and had just turned the corner when she noticed a dark car parked on the opposite side of the road. What stood out was the man behind the wheel, Victor. And he was staring right at her. When they locked eyes, he suddenly got out of the car and crossed over to her. She froze on the pavement, not knowing what to do or where to look.

“Hey Amelia” he flashed a grin.  
“Hello” she tried to hide her nerves. There was something about him that put her on edge.  
“Nevada sent me to pick you up, he wants you back”.

Oh. “Did he say why?”.  
“You know him, the less asked the better. Come on”.  
“I have stuff to do, I’ll see him later”.

His face darkened. “I think its just best you get in that car. And I’ll take you to him”.

Amelia tried to walk in either direction but he kept blocking her. 

“I have work, I have to go. But thanks for the offer of the ride”.

“I checked your schedule, you don’t have work today”.

Amelia stared up at him. His eyes grew mocking. 

“If you come with me now, I won’t have to make up some excuse to Nevada”.

Amelia could tell he was trying to keep the tone of his voice light, but it came across as unsettling instead. He stepped towards her, making her move back. She scanned the streets in her sideview, there were a few people coming towards them.

“Touch me and I’ll scream”.  
“Nevada said you were a screamer” he winked suggestively.

Amelia could see the passersbys had almost reached them. As they passed, she clung to them ignoring their confused expressions. She didn’t look back, she used them as a shield until they rounded the corner. 

She saw a bus approach the bus stop situated a few metres ahead of her. She ran and jumped on the bus, her heart about to burst judging by its beating. She found a seat and caught her breath. Her knees were shaking. Maybe she was overreacting. But why would Nevada send him of all his men to pick her up, especially when she aired her concerns about Victor to him only last night. 

She realised the bus she was on was heading in the wrong direction to Nevada’s. But that didn’t matter. All Amelia cared was that it was driving away from Victor.


	11. Dinner with Nevada and her Mami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia found Nevada sleeping in his bed.

Amelia found Nevada sleeping in his bed. She shook him violently until he woke up, ignoring his swearing. She recanted what had happened with Victor so fast Nevada told her to slow down and repeat the story. He listened carefully and made no comment when she had finished. Amelia grew impatient while waiting for his response.

“Well?? Did you tell him to pick me up or not?”.

He mumbled a quiet no.

“So what now?”,

Nevada watched her pace at the end of the bed. He lay back and groaned as he stretched himself. Amelia threw herself on the bed and crawled up to face him. She tapped on his chest incessantly while she spoke.

“Nevada? Nevada, Neevaaada”.

“Stop it” he growled and grabbed her finger, not letting go. A horrible thought struck Amelia.

“Mami…”

“What about her?” Nevada didn’t understand.

“Victor was waiting for me just down from Mami’s building. He knows where she lives, what if he goes after her…” she felt water gathering in her eyes. She tried to stop her sniffling but it was no good. She began crying as she covered her face, kneeling on the bed beside Nevada as he looked up at her.

“Hey”.

Amelia felt hands on her arms pulling her down. She was too distracted to resist and she soon found herself lying down with her head on Nevada’s outstretched arm. He pulled away her hands, ignoring her resistance and kissed around her eyes, down her nose and her cheek. 

“I’ll get someone to check on her”.

“But she could be ok now when your men check, but Victor knows how you work. Once they leave she’d be vulnerable again, wouldn’t she?”.

Nevada sighed, “So what do you want me to do?”.

Amelia looked into Nevada’s eyes, they looked grey with tiredness.

“Could she, perhaps, stay here?”.

He snorted then laughed. “This ain’t a hostel carino”.

She sat up and found a tissue on the bedside table for her running nose.   
“She’s my mother and I want her safe. If you cared about me at all……”

“Yeah alright alright” he said softly. He grabbed his phone from his locker and scrolled through his contacts. He glimpsed over at Amelia, who just stared straight ahead with puffy eyes. He rubbed her back under her shirt, feeling her skin goosebump under his touch.

“I more than care about you, you know that”.

She didn’t look at him, just nodded weakly. She listened as he gave orders in Spanish over the phone before leaving him on the bed and getting her own phone. She thought it best to ring her Mami before more ‘thugs’ descended on her door. Her Mami was not pleased to say the least. But Amelia insisted, for both their safeties until Nevada gets control of Victor.

Amelia heard her stomach grumble and treaded over to the fridge. Empty of course. She slammed the fridge door shut and hit her fist hard against the marble worktop in anger. A move she instantly regretted when a blunt dagger of pain shot up her hand to her wrist. She groaned loudly and tried to flex her hand. 

“Tut tut tut tut tut” she heard Nevada from behind her. “That’s gonna bruise up badly”.

“You have no food, again. Do you ever have any in?”. Amelia shut her eyes to help soothe the developing pain behind her eyes. Living with Nevada had only brought her more stress than it was worth.

“Do I look like I’d be shopping with trolleys at the nearest Walmart?” he laughed, clueless to her frustration. “I’m hardly here to eat so there’s no need”.

She filled a glass of water from the tap. “Well I’m here now and so is Mami until you get Victor sorted out”.

“Working on it” he said as he sat on a breakfast stool.

“And then we’ll be out of your hair” Amelia added.

“Mmm?”.

She kept staring into the sink. “This is not for me, I like my life simple. With fully stocked up fridges and cupboards”. She looked to see him staring at her, trying to decipher her words. “If you want to keep dating, whatever the hell this is, fine but living together doesn’t work”.

“Because the fridge is empty?”.

She sighed at Nevada’s cluelessness. She held up her hand to him as she left the kitchen for the bedroom, “Never mind”.

She huddled in the sheets and eventually fell asleep. A few hours later, she woke up to Nevada’s lips on her arm calling her name. He was standing over her in the dark. It took a minute for the memories of the events of the day to come back to her. 

“Your Mami is here” he whispered. “And dinner is ready”.

“You ordered in?”.

“Cooked”. Nevada grinned at her surprised face. He went to hold her hand but she flinched as he touched the one she banged off the worktop. He tutted once more and grabbed her good hand to guide her from the bed to the door. Once in the bright corridor, she and Nevada could see the hand she had hit had started to swell and bruise along the outer palm and edge of the little finger.

She saw her Mami sitting at the table with her arms crossed. She looked like she had been crying as Amelia approached her.

“Mami, estas bien?”.

“Being forced out of my home where I lived with Papi for our whole marriage because of..” she pointed crookedly at Nevada, who headed into the kitchen. 

“Its not permanent Mami, its just a precaution. It’s good of him to let us stay here isn’t he?” she prompted her Mami.

She said nothing, only mumbled under her breath. Amelia became aware of a gorgeous smell wafting from the kitchen that made her mouth water. Nevada stepped down into the living area with two plates. He winked at Amelia as he set the plates in front of her and her Mami. It was pasta in a red sauce with some white fish. It looked divine. She remembered her hunger and sat down to tuck in immediately. She was so engrossed in the food that she barely noticed Nevada sitting down with his own plate beside her.

“This is gorgeous, what is it, did you really make this?” she asked Nevada, her mouth full.

“Tagliatelle con pomodoro e basilica, con aragosta”. 

“Mmmmm delicious”. She glanced over to her Mami, who didnt seem to be enjoying it as much. “Everything alright Ma?”.

She only hummed in response. She left the table with her wine to sit on the couch. Amelia had a vision of her Mami spilling that on the pristine white settee. More likely on purpose than accidently. She felt a tickle on her arm that brought her attention back to the table. Nevada motioned for her to continue eating.

“Dessert is next” and before Amelia could ask, “no I didn’t make that”.

After a generous portion of tiramisu, she retired to the sofa next to her Mami. Nevada sat opposite in his chair and lit up a cigarette. 

“And where do you expect me to sleep?” her Mami asked Nevada sharply.

“The spare bedroom, down the corridor”.

“I’ll show you Mami if you want to go now” Amelia guided her from the living room.

“I hope its clean, who knows what undesirables have slept in it..”.  
“Mami!”. 

Nevada laughed to himself as he heard their voices disappear down the hall. He only noticed Amelia had returned when she sat back down on the sofa minutes later and sighed.

“She’s settled in”.

Nevada nodded then smirked at Amelia, “this feels very domesticated don’t you think?”.

“All you need is children running around and you have the full picture” Amelia said without realising. Her cheeks felt red as she felt him stare. She dreaded what he was about to say next.

“Thought about it carino?”.  
“What?” Amelia decided to play dumb.  
“Children”. He bit his cigarette and watched her for a reply.

Amelia fidgeted and shrug her shoulders, “maybe someday”.

“With me?”.

She thanked the Lord for the second time since she had been here when a knock was heard at the door. Nevada answered it immediately after checking his CCTV. It was two of his men. Amelia overheard that they had talked to Victor, he was surprised at the accusations and wanted to come over to explain and apologise. Nevada escorted them out before slamming the door and giving Amelia a frustrated glare.

“No, I know what happened, it was odd” Amelia was adamant.

“You’ve been in my life for three seconds and you’re making me look like a fool in front of my men. And now I have your Mami camping here too now”.

Amelia had heard enough and held up her hand to silence him as she stood up. 

“Tomorrow we’ll both be gone. That seems to solve everything doesn’t it?”.

“Carino..” he tried but it was futile. Amelia left him in the living area and slipped into the guest bedroom where her Mami was resting. Her Mami stirred as she crawled into the bed. 

“Amelia?”.  
“Do you mind if I sleep with you, we can go home tomorrow”.  
“Lover’s tiff in paradise?”.

Amelia didn’t reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tagliatelle con pomodoro e basilica, con aragosta - pasta with tomato, basil and lobster.


	12. Into the cold night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She turned to the kitchen to meet Nevada sitting at the breakfast counter. He had a glass of scotch in his hand and sipped it slowly as he watched her ignore him.

Amelia headed to the kitchen during the night to fetch some ice. Her hand was starting to pulse with pain and looked quite bruised. She hoped it wasn’t broken but she would get some bandages just in case in the morning. She saw a light in Nevada’s room under the door frame so she scurried quietly across the hall to the living area. The first thing she noticed was someone had left the TV on but with no sound. Strange. She turned to the kitchen to meet Nevada sitting at the breakfast counter. He had a glass of scotch in his hand and sipped it slowly as he watched her ignore him and stride to the sink.

“I spoke with Victor.”

Amelia didn’t reply.

“I’ve forbidden him to speak to you. And he’s now been reduced from my circle to a runner. He didn’t object.”

“What a gentleman” she noted sarcastically. She poured some crushed ice from the refrigerator into a bowl and wrapped them in a dishcloth before holding it to her hand. 

“I don’t know what else you want me to do” he sounded like he was getting angry. Amelia kept her back to him and stayed silent. She winced as the ice started to burn through the cloth.

The next thing, she felt her arm being gripped from behind forcing her to turn around. His nostrils were flaring out widely as he breathed deeply. He was daring her to answer him.

“I don’t want anything” she said quietly. 

He moved his face closer to hers until she could see the thin red capillaries in the whites of his eyes. She swore she could hear the grinding of his teeth.

“I just wanted you to believe me” she finished.

Nevada continued his glare before getting distracted by her hand. He threw the ice into the sink and studied her hand. He kissed it softly and kept checking her expression for any signs of pain. He let it go to grab her waist and plant his lips on hers. 

Amelia stood still as he moved down her chin, sucking her neck, pecking her chest between her breasts through her top, down her stomach and running his tongue over her hip bones as he knelt on his knees.

He whispered something so softly she had missed it.

“What?”

He looked up at her briefly before resting his head on her stomach.

“Don’t leave.”

Amelia was stunned. 

“What?” she asked again, this time barely audible, her hands on his shoulders as he dug his nose into her soft skin under her shirt.

Nevada kissed along her lower abdomen, around her belly button, towards the seam of her pants. He exhaled before responding.

“I…get lonely. And I like your company”.

An answer Amelia wasn’t expecting either. Though it wasn’t exactly a proposal.

“You have your men, and your girls” her voice waivered at the last word.

“But you’re…you”.

He met her eyes again as he caressed her skin, “carino.”

Amelia felt like her heart had stopped. She stayed frozen in her place as Nevada kept on at his admirations. Eventually she pushed his shoulders away and pulled him up to his feet. She watched him try to contain his smirk. 

“Nevada, I’m not staying here any longer. First thing in the morning, me and Mami will head home, out of your space” she saw his face drop as she spoke. She knew that he thought he could win her over anytime.

“I want my old life back, the one before I met you again. This is not me”.

She waited for his response. 

“You invited me to your home, into your bed!”

“I told you that time before you got in bed that it was a once off..”

“But it wasn’t.” he looked so confused.

Amelia averted her gaze. She didn’t have an answer. 

“You led me on..”

“I needed attention and care when I was hurt.”

“You used me..”

“I needed a place to stay when YOU got me kicked out”. She paused. She could see hurt forming on his face. She swallowed deeply. She lowered her voice to a whisper and placed her hands lightly on his chest. It was heaving under her touch.

“There will always be a part of me that cares for you..” she glanced up through her eyelashes, “that loves you but I don’t want this.”

He stared into her eyes for a minute before his face grew red as he tore her hands off of him. She gasped as he touched her sore hand. He backed away from Amelia, his expression growing stern.

“Get out.”

“Nevada its four in the morning, I’ll be gone first thing in the morning when its light outside”.

“Get. Out. Now” he was furious.

“But Mami..”

He threw a glass ashtray from the breakfast table towards the kitchen cupboards, just missing her leg as it broke into a thousand pieces. She jumped from her spot towards the front door.

“I’ll send your precious Mami home when she wakes. I want you gone from here. Out of my sight. Forever.” He issued those last words through his teeth.

He gave her a parting taunt as she turned the doorknob, “No wonder I left you bleeding on the street all those years ago. I always suspected underneath your saintly demeanour you were a fucking puta.”

Amelia hid her tears as she ran out the door and out of the building. Outside she finally let go of her breath and wailed into the cold night.


	13. The skies and stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had planned to make it hurt.

She had planned to make it hurt. 

She knew she couldn’t live in his world forever. He was getting conflicted between her and his men. Soon he would blame bad business decisions on her distracting him, him falling out with his men or doubting them because of her. Even if she was right and even if he knew it.

Still, she couldn’t live there forever. She didn’t want that life. They were no longer lovestruck teenagers sneaking out after her curfew. Nevada was a criminal, a drug kingpin. Who dealt in illegal drugs, guns, gambling. He was tough as nails, with a reputation in the Heights for torturing anyone who crossed his path.

That’s why she had to break his heart for him to let her go. She loved him. She realised that she’d never stopped. But this had to stop before Nevada got attached. She had let it go on for too long. She knew she should regret letting him sleep in her bed and making her stay with him. But she didn’t, as much as she tried. She wanted to feel him, kiss him, love him again before it was time to let him go.

She expected his confusion and his anger. She didn’t anticipate the bitter words he uttered as she left. She knew deep down he didn’t mean it. She saw it in his eyes when they were together. He wanted her, he loved her. That’s why she had to stop this now. Before either of them got hurt. 

Now she found herself walking home at night, her tears clogging up her vision more so than the dark. She had no phone, no money, no keys. She planned getting the spare set at her neighbour’s. They’d be surprised to find her knocking so early in the morning. But she needed to sleep. She felt physically and emotionally exhausted.

Her Papi crossed her mind. She felt a shiver as she tried to think what he would say about the trouble she had gotten herself into. 

Run. 

She felt him whisper it in her ears. She looked up to the skies and stars. She longed to see her Papi’s face. To embrace him and let him comfort her. 

Run. 

She wiped the tears that were pouring down her cheeks.

As she did so, she saw her shadow from the street light on the road. It looked thin. 

Run.

That voice in her ear that she swore was her Papi’s. She looked down at her shadow again to see it was now accompanied by a second one that was closing in fast behind.

She quickened her past which was useless. The second shadow became faster still. 

She turned just in time to see a hand pushing a cloth over her mouth. 

She could see his eyes before she passed out a few seconds later.

She heard his voice as he guided her gently to the pavement.

“Hello Amelia.”


	14. Bonfire by the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia felt shivers up her arms from the cold damp air.

Amelia felt shivers up her arms from the cold damp air. Her eyes stung as she tried to open them. There was something in her mouth. She attempted to remove it, but realised her hands were tied together behind her back. She could feel she was sitting on some sort of hard chair. She couldn’t kick her feet, they seemed to be bound as well.

She forced her eyes open and squinted when they met the harsh light of the makeshift shade dangling above her. Amelia tried to control her breathing, her ribs were sore. She looked around the room frantically, trying to decipher where she was. But the place gave no clues. The walls looked like serragated tin. Like a shipping container on the docks. Shit, she panicked and wiggled and fidgeted around to try and free her hands. Any movements only made the ties dig into her wrists. She became afraid that she might cut into a vein so she stopped. Darts of pain from her bruised hand made her feel weak, as well as the dull throbbing behind her eyes.

The gag in her mouth gave her a choking sensation. She attempted to spit it out or bite through but it was futile. She couldn’t even shout or scream with it there. She sank back into the chair, her eyes watering with tears. She began to wonder how long she would be left here, or how long she would survive.

She thought of her poor Mami, distraught upon discovering her daughter was missing. Nevada crossed her mind also, if he knew where she might be or if he even cared anymore. He had left her injured once before, what difference would the second time make.

The door in front of her suddenly burst open and shut, a man darting inside. A gust of fresh air brushed past Amelia. She watched as the dark figure walked towards her, studying her.

“Hello Amelia” Victor’s voice echoed around the tin room.

She could only whimper in response. He held a sharp knife used for gutting fish to her neck as he spoke again.

“I’m going to take this off” he scrapped the knife lightly against the gag “make one sound and I’ll cut through that pretty little neck of yours so fast, that sound will be lost in the wind.”

His eyes bulged as he pressed his face into hers. “Deal?”

Amelia nodded as he swiftly cut through the mouth gag. She gasped as the knife made contact with the skin on her face and started to bleed from a small gash.

“Ooops. Nevada always said I did sloppy work” he laughed darkly.

“Are you thirsty?” he asked.

Amelia nodded again. She watched as he continued laughing.

“Sorry carino, I don’t carry drinks with me. Unless you want piss, I guess you’ll have to do without.”

She could hear birds squawking outside. They were definitely near the sea. She concluded her only way out was to talk to Victor, no matter how much she detested him.

“Why?” she managed to say, her mouth dry and voice weak. Her throat hurt when she tried to swallow.

“Why are you here, you mean?”

Victor kneeled in front of her and placed a hand on her leg. She cringed as he moved it up her thigh.

“I was nice to you Amelia. I tried to warn you about Nevada, about that toxic relationship that you were in. But you got the wrong idea, terrible terrible terrible interpretation you got, you did.”

He picked up the knife again and pressed it, point first, into her leg. Amelia grinded her teeth in resistance to the pain.

“You squealed to Nevada your little crazy ideas. And that got him all panicky panicky so he dumped me.” He put more pressure on the knife, it cut into her leg, a thin tickle of blood staining her pants.

“He demoted me to a runner. After 10 years of service for him. I MURDERED for him. But the tipping point came long before you did.”

She looked at him confused. 

“A few years ago, one of Nevada’s warehouses burnt down. Just a few stupid kids playing with fireworks. Nevada lost his nephew. We all felt for him. But he went after two more kids. Threw one of a bridge onto a railway track.”

She was horrified at what she heard. She didn’t want to believe it. It could have been one of Victor’s ramblings. But she was no fool to what Nevada was capable of.

“Now I wasn’t involved with that, I had other jobs to do. But that kid…. I later learnt was my cousin’s kid. My ma came to me with such mournful cries. I knew I had to do something.”

She held her lips in a thin line. She guessed what was coming.

“And then you came along” he smiled. 

“So what, you’re gonna throw me off a bridge in retaliation then?” she spat out.

Victor smirked, then leaned closer again. “No. I’m going to burn this container down.”

Amelia’s mouth dropped and her eyes opened wide in terror. 

“Please, please don’t” she begged, only to be met with the silence.

“I’ll help you get back at him” she offered scared.

He gave her a look. “You’re together, you wouldn’t go through with it.”

“No, we’re not. He dumped me. He hates me, he said so himself. He said he never wants to see me again” she protested.

He scoffed. “He might have said that, but he loves you. You know it, he knows it, hell we all knew it. And its so obvious nina that you feel the same so don’t try it.”

“I helped you when you came in to the Emergency Victor..”

He bent down and shouted into her face, “And look what you got yourself into now eh?”

Amelia whimpered between her cries. “Does he know I’m here?”

“Meh, probably not. His guys had a watch on me for a while but I lost them when I took a detour through a strip club” he amused, “dumb fuckers, cant resist a bit of flesh can they.”

He walked to the corner of the room to the right of Amelia and picked up a large can. Her heart started to pound fast when she smelt it – oil. He threw the can down in front of her, the oil leaking on the floor, some splashing on her legs.

He rubbed his hands quickly,

“Hope you like a bonfire nina.”


	15. "Goodbye Amelia"

He lit a match and held to his face. The orange flickers reflected in his eyes. Amelia squirmed and shook in the chair, hoping she would be freed from her restraints. No good. She saw Victor laugh then walk backwards towards the door. He lowered the flame as he did so. Amelia felt her eyes bulge as she followed his movements. She bit her lip so hard that it started bleeding. Her arms starting to ache as she struggled, her knees felt stiff.

He paused. 

“Goodbye Amelia.”

He dropped the match. It bounced once before settling on the concrete floor. He smiled and against the sound of Amelia’s screams, he slammed the door tight behind him as he left. She froze in fear as the match rolled slightly to the left, just enough to make contact with the spilled oil. It ignited with a small burst.

Fire. A line of fire had now developed. Following the path of oil Victor had drawn. It moved slowly, edging its way slowly to its predetermined end. Towards Amelia. Bellows of black smoke started to form, making her cough.

Her eyes began to sting and water, she couldn’t see properly due to the wall of tears. She prayed to her Papi to keep her safe, and to watch over her Mami. She thought of Nevada, hoping he’d crash through the doors and save her.

He didn’t. No one came as she slowly suffocated on the thick smoke that now filled the room. She tried to find air but felt her lungs get heavy with soot. She was starting to become drowsy and weak. She gave a few final coughs, all her strength could muster at this point. Her mind registered a dull pain as she felt herself falling asleep. 

She gave in and closed her eyes, accepting her fate in this now hopeless fight. 

Waves of orange, red and yellow colours glowed through her shut eyelids as she watched memories flash through her mind.

Playing in the park as a child, humble trips with her Mami and Papi, meeting Nevada at school, how he helped her then. Seeing him again. Losing her Papi after his fearless battle. Realising she never stopped loving Nevada. Hoping he felt the same.

Her breathing slowed down. She drifted off into unconsciousness.


	16. Two nights later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am spoiling you all with another update in the same day! Thanks so much again for all the comments, I mightn't reply to them all the time, which is very bad of me, but I do read them and love how much you look forward to new chapters and wishing Amelia will be ok! She has a few more struggles to go through but she's tough. The only question is if Nevada will stick by her or if she can even stick him...

Nevada tapped the inside of the car door incessantly. He looked out through the window, waiting for her Mami to leave the hospital. He couldn’t face her. Not now. Amelia had been in there for two nights now. He was told from sources inside the hospital that Amelia was in the burns unit, though her injuries were not life threatening. She was being treated for smoke inhalation primarily and she was still unconscious since she had been found.

Nevada closed his hand in a tight fist as he thought of Victor. The police hadn’t found him yet. They never would now that Nevada had him tied up and watched in one of his hideouts since yesterday. Nevada wanted to wait until he visited Amelia before he inflicted his punishment on him. But he already had an idea of what it would entail. And how much pain he wanted to inflict.

Nevada shivered as he thought of Amelia and the fear she must have felt. The hurt she must of had when he threw her out and said those lies to her. He hoped she knew different. He would never make that mistake again. He checked his gold watch, 10.30pm. Her Mami would be leaving shortly now. Nevada would get his chance to see her. He closed his eyes and prayed to whoever was in the heavens listening that they would watch over Amelia.

One of his men in the car alerted him to her Mami exiting the hospital entrance. Nevada watched the frail woman walk down the pavement. She looked distressed and upset. As soon as she rounded the corner, he sighed and exited the car, flanked by two men. Nevada had all his men checked out since he captured Victor. His trust in them had been shaken but he hoped Victor was just a bad egg with a vendetta. Still, he had to protect himself and his wealth. If only he could have protected his girl, he sighed. 

He laughed a little to himself as he heard her voice in his head, “I am not your girl.” He loved when she had been around him the last few weeks. She was just so perfect. An angel compared to his demonic qualities. Once inside the hospital reception, he headed for the elevator to the Burns Unit on the seventh floor. He left his men in the waiting room. He wanted to see her alone.

Nevada approached her room slowly. As most of her wounds were classed as minor, she was away from more serious patients and given complete privacy. There was a glass window beside the door. Nevada’s knees almost gave way when he saw her sleeping in the bed, machines beeping on either side. He held his breath as he entered the room and sat near the top of the bed on a chair that had been left there. He blinked fast to try to restrain the tears in his eyes.

Around her eyes and nose were black and red splotches. Her mouth was covered with a mask connected to an oxygen pump hooked on the wall. Her arms and hands were laid out on top of the sheets, with more IVs and tubes connected to them. He saw her bruised hand was bandaged in a cast and her wrists had the telltale signs of ligature marks from being bound with rope. 

Nevada ground his teeth as he took in her feet and legs which were exposed from the upturned sheets. Her right leg looked ok, just red, bruised and a bit swollen. Her left leg below the knee was bound tightly with white dressings. Nevada had been told she had suffered third degree burns to that leg and foot. And that they didn’t know if they could save it. He could see black toes barely visible at the top of the dressings that had started to ooze through. 

He looked back at Amelia’s face through watery eyes. He was afraid to hold her hand or touch her arm. He had only caused her pain since she met him. He stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead gently. Once he felt her skin under his lips, he broke down. He buried his face beside her head and cried into her ear, willing her to wake up. He whispered his apologies and pecked her cheeks. He promised to return tomorrow. He vowed to help her whatever way he could.

A nurse interrupted him as she informed him visiting hours were over. He glared at her until she relented and gave him ten minutes to say his goodbyes. He squeezed Amelia’s good hand before saying goodnight. Nevada strode down the corridor to the elevator with determination. He could only see red as he pressed the button to return to the ground floor.

He knew what had to be done with Victor.

And he would do it all himself.


	17. Day five

Amelia finally woke up on day five in the hospital. She opened her eyes slowly to see her Mami on her left, her eyes shut and hands clasped in prayer. She looked around the room to see flowers of every size, shape and colour displayed around the furniture. She tried to move but her muscles ached, causing her to groan in pain. The sound alerted her Mami, who jumped for her seat. After embracing Amelia with tears, she called the doctors and nurses from the doorway. Amelia tried to pull away the oxygen mask from her mouth but the nurses stopped her. She could hear their voices. She tried to listen to their instructions but she couldn’t. She found herself slipping away again amid the flurry of shouts.

Amelia came round again a few hours later. She was told by her doctor that it was very common to slip in and out of consciousness for hours after what she had been through. She had been given a drip of morphine and a button to control the dosage. Amelia looked down at her legs to see the dressings on one of them. She was worried she didn’t have any feeling in it. She guessed what that could mean but she pushed that aside for now. She wanted to know how she had gotten out of that place. And where was Victor.

It was after 9pm when her Mami hugged her goodnight and left. Amelia lay in the dimly lit room, gazing out of the window beside her onto the busy streets below. She noticed a dark SUV parked on the street opposite the main entrance. Her heart started to beat so fast it set off one of the monitors, leading to a nurse checking her over. She settled back into the pillows and made herself calm down. She ran her eye over all the flowers. She could see no card in any of the bouquets. She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping to get to sleep.

She felt a warm hand cover hers and she peeked from under her eyelids. It was Nevada. He was holding her hand and looking down at her leg. He didn’t notice she was awake and now looking at him. She saw a fresh bunch of flowers at her arm. 

“Hey” her voice was broken and weak.

Nevada’s neck almost snapped from the speed he spun his head around. She could see little droplets of tears running down his cheek. She tried to smile but it was too sore. The corners of her lips were chapped and burnt from the chloroform-soaked cloth Victor had used over her mouth. She raised her hand to pinch his chin and she used her finger to wipe the moisture from his cheek. 

“Carino” he whispered. He saw the whites of her eyes were coloured pink. 

“Thank you for the flowers” she said, her throat dry.

Nevada nodded humbly before bursting out in tears. Amelia had never seen him cry before. She wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down to her chest. He tucked his head into her neck.

“I’m sorry” he kissed around her ear. He was still sniffling.

She tightened her hold. “It’s ok.”

He shot back, “No its not. You’ve been hurt again in my care. I shouldn’t have made you leave. I shouldn’t have said that to you…”

“Shush shush shush shush shush” she held his face in her hands and took in his pained expression. “I’m ok, I’m ok.”

She moved his face towards hers and kissed him lightly. 

“Now I know what its like to kiss a heavy smoker like me” Nevada tried to lighten his mood with a joke. He smiled when Amelia laughed but the laughs soon turned into coughs and splutters as she replaced the oxygen mask over her mouth. Nevada watched as she slowly got her breath back. He wished she didn’t have to go through this.

“I wish I could take your place.”

Amelia started to shake her head furiously.

“You don’t deserve this..” he admitted but she removed her mask to interrupt him.

“I’ll be ok.”

“Your leg..”

“What about it?”

Nevada looked at her. He wondered if she had been told of its prognosis.

“Is there pain?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head. Nevada realised she knew. She had to, she was a nurse. He said nothing more, just stroked her cheek and kissed her again.

“I’ll come back tomorrow” he promised. 

Amelia didn’t let go for his hand. “Did you find me?”

Nevada sighed and closed her hand between the both of his before looking away. “No.”

“Oh.”

Nevada glimpsed sideways to see Amelia look disappointed. She drew her hand back and rested it over her stomach. “Goodnight then.”

He started to rub her arm softly. “The cops that were patrolling the docks saw smoke coming from one of the shipping containers, they went to investigate. They called an ambulance to bring you here. The doctor rang your Mami when we were dropping her home.”

Amelia closed her eyes, “Well I’ll be sure to thank those police officers.”

Nevada stared at her. He noticed little scratches near her jawline and friction burns along her mouth. He ran his fingers through her hair, making her look at him again. He lowered his face to hers so their noses almost touched.

“You don’t have to worry about Victor.”

“Oh, you finally believe me now?”

“Hey!” Nevada tried not to get angry. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but I’m doing everything I can now to make it up to you, to protect you.” 

He instantly regretted raising his voice as she started to cry. She pulled the sheets over her head to hide her face as she wept. He couldn’t think of anything to comfort her so he stood up to leave. Amelia lowered the sheets when she heard the squeaks of his chair. She watched him walk slowly towards the door, his head hung low.

“Nevada” she called out. He stopped in his tracks and turned his head. He raised his eyebrow in response.

“Are you still coming back tomorrow?”

Nevada’s face softened as he answered, “Of course.”

Amelia felt tears stream down her face, “Ok. Just don’t forget me.”

Nevada raced back to her bedside and kissed all over her face, wiping her wet cheeks and tidying her hair. 

“Never.” 

He was adamant about that and made sure she knew it.


	18. Nurse Nevada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, the next one will be longer. Enjoy reading!

Nevada arrived earlier than usual the next night. He found Amelia and her Mami sitting on chairs by the window, Amelia’s bandaged leg resting on a footstool. She looked as if she had been crying again. Her Mami abruptly wished her goodnight and left, she didn’t want to be around the man she blamed for her daughter’s condition. Nevada sat down beside her and ran his hands through her hair.

“Carino” he kissed her forehead and then her lips. Her eyes were still coloured red, though Nevada wasn’t sure if that was from the cries or one of her injuries from the fire smoke.

She said nothing, just picked at her buttons on her pyjama top and stared out the window. Nevada leaned in closer.

“What’s wrong carino?”

Amelia turned her head to him and looked down. Her lips were quivering as she tried to hold back fresh tears.

“They have to remove it.”

Nevada’s heart almost burst with sadness for her. He gripped her hand and stroked the back. 

“The operation is scheduled for Thursday.”

“That's the day after tomorrow!” he couldn’t hide his shock.

“It’s dead Nevada, there are no living nerves or tissues left in that leg. It’s just better to remove it and…….start afresh. Before any infections set in.”

Nevada bit his lip, hoping to contain his mix of emotions – anger, heartbreak, sadness.

“Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you. Physical therapy, treatments, anything. I’ll pay for everything.”

“Like compensation you mean?” she spat out and glared at him.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I know you’re mad, this is an awful situation to be in. I wish you didn’t have to go through this, but stop taking it out on me when I’m trying to help.”

“Why didn’t you help when I first told you about Victor? You didn’t believe me and actually blamed me for being paranoid.”

“Don’t say his name to me again.” Nevada muttered darkly. He could feel his temper boiling.

“Why?” she challenged him.

“Because I killed that motherfucker!” he roared before calming himself when he saw Amelia’s frightened expression. 

“How?”

“You don’t want to know” he warned.

“Yes I do. Tell me.”

He looked at her intensely. “I tortured him good so he could feel every bit of pain he put you through. He was still alive when we threw him in the river. But I stayed to watch him drown.”

Amelia stuttered, “If the police find him..”

“I removed all his teeth with pliers and smashed his face. They won’t ID him easily.”

“You did all this?”

“Yes.” He watched her face for a reaction. She had none.

“Will you help me stand up? I’d like to lie down now.”

He pulled her up on her right foot while she held on to her crutches. She hobbled over to the bed, Nevada keeping a protective hand on her lower back. He guided her back on the mattress and fixed her pillows as she swung her legs on top.

“You’d make a good nurse” she joked.

“Hmmm, I only want to be yours” he kissed her brow and pulled the sheets over her.

Her eyes started to feel heavy as Nevada sat beside the bed and held her hand. 

“Nevada?” she mumbled sleepily.

“Yes carino?” he caressed her wrist and arm.

“Stop calling me carino” she said, which made him snort.

“I could call you mi amor instead” he teased.

She smiled and squeezed his hand. She looked at him concerned, “Will you be here on Thursday?”

“I will.”

“Will you stay with me during the night?”

“If you want me to.”

She didn’t want to be alone. She wanted Nevada. After everything, she still only wanted him.


	19. The answer is no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking there will only be about 3 more chapters after this one. I didn't think this story would be so long haha! Thanks so much again for the kudos, comments and support - cannot say it enough and what it means to me.

The next day went fast for Amelia in the hospital. Doctors and surgeons called in and talked her through the operation. The tissue below her left knee was too damaged to be repaired, even with multiple grafts and treatments. Seeing as it was the only serious burn she obtained, an amputation would be the recommended option. The few minor burns on her right leg were only superficial and could be treated with dressings and honey. 

She talked to the anaesthetist, the physiotherapists and rehabilitation therapists. They offered her kind words of support. They assured her that this was the only way forward. She could be fitted with an artificial limb and given intensive exercises to help her adjust. She tuned them out after a while. Her work colleagues also visited her. They were all optimistic but they weren’t in her position. It was her losing a leg, not them. 

The two police officers that had rescued Amelia arrived later in the evening. She shook their hands and thanked them for saving her. They were sympathetic to her situation but were more interested in getting answers to their questions. 

“Had you met this man before?” the taller officer asked about Victor.

Amelia became nervous. She didn’t want to lead them to Nevada but she didn’t want to lie either.

“No I don’t think so.”

The two men looked at each other before the other officer spoke.

“So this was a random attack by an unknown man? Because it seemed personal. He brought you to a shipping container on a secluded part of the docks with the intention of starting a fire. It was just a coincidence that we were there to find you, we had been patrolling that area for weeks watching for drug smugglers.”

“I didn’t know him.”

“Could you describe this man, what he looked like?”

She stared at them, they obviously didn’t know that it was Victor.

“White, stocky build, mid thirties..”

The taller one cleared his throat, “You sure about that?”

Amelia nodded. Her heart sank when they showed her a mugshot of Victor.

“We found his body in the Hudson. He was burnt so badly, he was halfway to being cremated.”

She said nothing.

“He was a known gang banger working for Nevada Ramirez. And you’ve been seen in the company of Ramirez in the past few weeks.”

She tried to keep her face neutral.

“What happened eh? Did this hotshot try it on with you, Ramirez wasn’t having it so he rejected him, Victor Nandes came after you, then Ramirez did this to him in retaliation. Is that what went down?”

“I don’t know anything” Amelia replied in a quiet voice.

“Is he making you keep quiet? We can offer you protection. We can get you away from him.”

“I don’t know anything” she repeated.

The smaller, older cop sat closer. “I know that you don’t want to be part of this world. You don’t belong there and you know it.”

Amelia looked at him from under her eyelashes as he continued.

“Tell us what happened. We can free you from all that. Look what happened, you almost got killed. And Ramirez didn’t come to save you, that gotta sting.”

She picked at her fingers.

“We get if you think you owe it to him to keep quiet after what he did to Nandes. But you’ll never be free from him if he’s still around. Give us a statement that he confessed to Nandes’ murder and we can put him away. And you can live your life.”

“Yeah and be a target for all his other men” she reminded the officers.

“We’ll put you in protection, you’ll be safe.” 

“He didn’t confess” she lied.

“Get him to, and then we can arrest him.”

“What about what Victor did to me, why aren’t you that concerned about that??”

“Victor Nandes is dead. We can’t imprison a dead man, but we can connect Nevada to your incident through Victor and we can get justice for you by getting rid of him.”

She just sighed and lay back. They seemed to be only interested in getting Nevada. They finally left after more persuading and prompting her to give a statement. When they shut the door and left her in the darkened room, she felt like she could finally get some rest.

 

Nevada arrived shortly after ten. Amelia was sleeping soundly in her bed. He gently kissed her cheek and watched her chest rise and fall. He sat beside her and looked around the room. His flowers were all still here. A white card on the sideboard caught his attention. A business card from a NYPD officer. His mind starting racing – who has she been talking to, what has she told them. Nevada tried to think clearly. Amelia would never rat on him, she didn’t do it years ago when he left her, she wouldn’t do it now. Right? But things were different now, he thought. Her injuries are more serious now. He let out a deep breath and he replaced the card where he found it and waited.

Amelia felt herself stir from her sleep. She opened her eyes slowly to see Nevada with his arms crossed beside the bed, glaring at the wall in front of him.

“Hi” she reached out to touch him but he was too far. He made no attempt to move so she left her hand hanging from the bed rails.

“Busy day?” he asked but still didn’t glance her way. Her brow furrowed.

“The medical team were here to talk about the operation tomorrow.”

“No one else?” he questioned her.

He knew.

“The police officers who found me dropped by.”

“Oh. And why would that be?” he turned to meet her eyes. His face looked dark.

Amelia sighed. “They found Victor’s body, they’ve linked him to you. They want me to tell them about Victor. And you.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “And have you made up your mind about that?”

“Of course I’m not going to, why would I? I’m too involved as it is, it’s simpler to say nothing.”

She felt almost betrayed that he had to check. He shuffled his chair closer to her and patted her head, “Good girl.”

She hated that patronising tone. “Is that all you came about? To make sure I stay quiet?”

“Carino…” 

“I said stop calling me that! Are you here because you want to be or because you need to check that I’m not going to snitch. Which is it?” she felt herself getting agitated. 

Nevada cleared his throat and stretched his arm so he could hold her hand, “I came to ask you to marry me.”

Amelia blinked hard. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Marry me carino, I’ll take care of you.” He rubbed her hand soothingly.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” she snapped.

“Watch what you say to me.”

She threw back her head and laughed with disbelief. “I am lying in this bed fretting over tomorrow where they will remove my destroyed leg in a six hour operation. Do you really think I want to be contemplating marriage to you aswell?”

“If you love me, it should be easy to answer” he clasped her hand tight.

“One minute you’re accusing me of giving you up to the cops, the next you’re proposing to me!” She shook her head at him, “You’re too unstable for me, I don’t want to come home everyday wondering what mood you’ll be in.”

“Where do you think you’ll be coming home from? You won’t be able to work.”

She stared at him. “So you think I’ll be sitting all day in your drug den waiting for your arrival, whenever that might be?”

“Sitting, lying, whatever position you feel comfortable..” he smirked.

“Oh grow up Nevada. The answer is no” she shot back.

She keep her gaze straight as she felt him glare at her. She could feel her pulse increasing as he stood over her.

“So what then? You’ll ask me to stay over and help you fluff your pillows but when I want something more serious, you won’t commit?”

Amelia became nervous as she cleared her throat and looked up at him.

“Tomorrow I need a clear head with no distractions. Everytime I’m with you, something happens…” she trailed off. She could feel the harshness of Nevada’s eyes on her.

“So you’re blaming me for all this?”

“No Nevada, its just…”

“Just what?” He waited for an answer but didn’t get one. He shook his head.

“You fucking bitch.”

Amelia felt her jaw drop a little. 

“Good luck finding a man who wants a cripple.”

Amelia’s temper began to rise as she watched him saunter towards the door. She couldn’t resist calling after him,

“Good luck finding a woman to replace me.”

She took a deep breath when he slammed the door on the way out. One day at a time she thought. Get through tomorrow, worry about Nevada another day. 

Just get through tomorrow.


	20. "You look good"

Amelia was whisked away and prepped for surgery early in the morning after a restless and sleepless night. Everything became a blur under the harsh white lights. She woke up later in the surgical ward, the effects of the anaesthetic slowly wearing off. She glanced down the bed and saw the sheets flat against the bed where her left leg had been this morning. She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping she would wake up from this nightmare.

During the rest of her stay at the hospital, her only visitors were her Mami and the physical therapists. As soon as the wound started to heal, she practiced walking with crutches. Once she had mastered that, she was put on the list to be fitted with a prosthesis. She was discharged exactly four weeks after the operation. Although glad to be out, the reality of her situation only hit her when she exited the hospital. The stares, the comments, the sympathetic looks. She went home to the family apartment, but as the building didn’t have an elevator, the climb up and down the flights of stairs was daunting. Once Amelia reached the apartment on the seventh floor, she never intended leaving again.

She spent the days practicing on her crutches around the tiny living space, moving from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedroom. She found all this too exhausting and spent most of her time in bed, with her Mami bringing her food. She allowed her mind to wander to Nevada, what he was doing and what he was thinking. Did she cross his mind at all and would she ever see him again.

Little did Amelia know that Nevada had visited her the first night she had arrived home. It was after 2am when a knock on the door was heard by her Mami who had been passing by the kitchen. She tried to close the door when she saw him but he pushed it back and demanded to see Amelia. Her Mami swore and waved her arms at him. She tried to force him out but he wouldn’t budge. She finally relented but gave him strict rules: don’t wake Amelia and don’t touch her. Nevada rolled his eyes but agreed.

Amelia was fast asleep on her back when he entered her room. He walked quietly over to her and crouched down. He glanced down the bed and saw the empty space just like she had. He felt his eyes watering. He bit his lip and dusted his hand over hers. He noticed the hand that was once bruised and bandaged was now healed. He lightly kissed her forehead and watched her eyelids twitch. She released a few sleepy moans which made Nevada smile. He rested his hand softly on the top of her head and whispered, ‘Take care of yourself carino.’ 

He left before she woke up, instructing her Mami to never tell Amelia of his visit. He wanted her to be free of him, of all the troubles that he had caused her. She deserved the simple, quiet life she always craved. He hoped that she could still achieve it. Her Mami was only too happy to make that agreement with Nevada.

Weeks and months flew by until a full year had passed. Amelia had progressed further than her medical team at the hospital had anticipated. She had learnt to walk with her new prosthetic leg in record time, surprising her surgeon and physiotherapists. She had to give up nursing but took a part time job in the local florists, a job she had never thought for herself. She found flower arranging relaxing, like a form of therapy. She could also complete orders sitting down, taking the weight off her feet for part of the day. After two years when the owner of the shop retired, she had saved up enough money to buy half of the shop. The delivery man, Jose chipped in with his family money to buy the remainder. Together they worked hard to run a successful business, catering for weddings, funerals and celebrations. Their flower shop was becoming very popular in the Heights and Amelia went home every night feeling like she had accomplished something at last.

In her room she often found her gaze heading towards the cigar box Nevada had brought at her Papi’s memorial. It stood on her dresser, untouched since that night she had smoked one with him in her bed. She stroked her hand over the bed sheets where he had slept. She felt disappointed that he hadn’t called or checked up on her. No matter how bad they fought, he always came back. Maybe now he had decided different.

Amelia’s curiosity got the best of her one evening that she ventured out after work to one of Nevada’s clubs. She had a sense of uneasiness as she weaved cautiously through the crowd inside. The music was blaring and the lights were hypnotic. She saw a few of his men huddled in a booth at the edge of the dance floor. They raised their glasses to her before getting distracted by the skimpy dancers. She headed back outside. She had just walked past the alley beside the club when she heard giggles and sighs coming from the darkness. Amelia stopped and looked down the passageway. Her heart stopped.

Leaning against the brick wall was a young woman clinging to a man in a leather jacket. One of her long legs was wrapped around his waist while her hands clung to his shoulders. She laughed as Nevada sucked on her neck, his hands disappearing under her short skirt. Once Amelia heard the sound of a zip opening, she turned to leave when her foot hit an empty tin can. The sound caught the attention of the couple, who were now staring at her. 

The woman kept laughing and pointed, ‘Watchin’ or joinin’ in girl?’ 

Amelia felt her cheeks redden and started to walk away quickly. In her peripheral vision, she saw Nevada stepping away from the loud woman and moving towards her. She heard a shout ‘Hey!’ and could only guess that Nevada was on her tail. Amelia walked as fast as she could, the joint where her knee met her prosthesis becoming sore with the quickened paces. She felt a large hand on her shoulder, forcing her to halt.

“Amelia.”

Nevada’s voice sounded soft. She composed herself as well as she could before turning to face him. She studied his face. She noticed a new scar on the side of his neck, just under the gold chain of his cross. She met his eyes that had been scanning her up and down incessantly.

“You look good.”

Amelia blushed at his compliment. Damn, why could he still do that to her she cursed. She nodded briefly and shrugged. She couldn’t think of what to say so she stood there quietly. Nevada noticed her nervousness. He moved closer to her and placed his hands on her upper arms, squeezing gently.

“C’mon, let’s go somewhere and talk.”

She looked up at his eyes. They looked wishful. She shook her head,

“I don’t want to go into the club.”

“Fine, we’ll get something to eat.” He moved his hand to hold it out in front of her, hoping she would take it. She stared at it and hesitated. Suddenly a pair of arms flung around Nevada’s waist from behind.

“Come on baby, don’t leave me like this, I need your big cock now.”

Amelia’s eyebrows flew up to her hairline. He huffed and looked sideways at the woman. He picked her arms off his torso and dismissed her with just a glare. He turned back to Amelia and held his hand out again.

“Well?”

She thought for a minute before taking it. She swore she saw Nevada sigh in relief for a brief second.

“You’ll take me home not too late after, yeah?”

He smirked and led her down the block to the nearest eatery. As they walked, he put a hand on the small of her back. He didn’t try to link with her or aid her. He knew that she was strong and didn’t need his help. Amelia felt relieved that he silently understood her and followed him into the cool summer night.


	21. Dinner, then kisses

Nevada and Amelia sat upstairs in a tiny family run Italian restaurant two blocks away from his club. When the elderly owner saw Nevada enter, he immediately shook his hand and showed him and Amelia to the table upstairs overlooking the balcony, reserved for special clientale. Once they were seated, the best wine was brought to the table with nibbles and the menu. Nevada grinned as he enjoyed the fuss made over the two of them. Amelia was glad when their food arrived and they were left to eat in private. She picked at her pasta, her tastebuds not fully restored after the damage done by the smoke.

“Not hungry?” Nevada noticed her moving the food around the plate.

“My eyes are bigger than my stomach these days” she sighed as she sipped her wine. 

“You need to eat, you look skinny.”

Amelia looked at him, “I thought you said I looked good.”

He pursed his lips, “Why you always gotta start with me?”

“I’m not starting, you brought it up!” Amelia sighed and sat back. She fiddled with her fork in her hand as she thought. “Remember when we were younger, we never argued like this.”

Nevada gave a laugh and adjusted the collar of his crisp black shirt.

“Life can’t be all math tests and canteen lunches carino.”

“Hmm, life never turns out the way you picture it.”

Nevada noticed her mood drop quickly for the second time this evening.

“Still living at home?”

Amelia nodded, “Yeah, most of my money is tied up in work. But I’ve been setting aside a little a month, can almost afford to buy a nice little apartment soon.”

“The flower shop?”

She was surprised, “You know of it?”

“I know everything in my neighbourhood.”

He watched as her expression turned thoughtful.  
“How’s your Mami?”

“Visiting my Aunties in Jersey for a few weeks. She deserves a break from the Heights.” She turned the questioning around on him.

“So Nevada, still up to your old tricks?”

He smirked at her, loving her awkwardness at asking the question.

“Business is good, always in demand” he winked.

Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. She took a few more bites of her dinner before dropping the fork on the plate and calling over the waiter.

“I want dessert. And a glass of your most expensive wine.” She heard Nevada laugh in the background.

“Making me pay carino?”

“Oh yes” she raised an eyebrow at him, “Have you a problem with that?”

“Nunca” he muttered as he studied her determined face. She looked proud of herself. Good for her thought Nevada.

After the lavish meal Nevada called his men to drop her home. Amelia sat in the back seat of the SUV beside Nevada, his leg rubbing against hers when the car flew over bumps and potholes. At her building, he helped her out and walked with her up the flights of stairs. He waited patiently as she took her usual break at the halfway point. She looked everywhere but him. Once they reached her door, he took her keys and guided her inside. Amelia was surprised when Nevada shut the door behind him, with him in the apartment. 

“Are you staying?”

Nevada shrugged his shoulder as he grinned, “Maybe.”

Amelia rolled her eyes and left him in the living room to leave her coat and bag in her bedroom. She called his name from her door until he appeared down the hall.

“What?” 

She bit her lip, “Would you like to meet my boyfriend Nevada?”

He cocked his head, looking unsure. He approached tentatively as she disappeared back into the room. He swung the bedroom door open slowly and scoffed once he saw Amelia standing in front of her bed, a small dark Labrador puppy in her arms, its tail waving furiously. She laughed at him while scratching the dog’s ears. She sat back on the bed.

“Meet Diego” she said proudly as the dog gave a small playful bark.

Nevada ignored her and walked around the bed, studying every detail of the room. 

“A lot of memories here” he whispered. He glanced over at Amelia whose attention only seemed to be on the dog. He lay down on the opposite side of the bed. Amelia shuffled around to see him.

“Getting one last look of the place?” she teased.

Nevada said nothing, just closed his eyes as his head sank into the soft pillow. Suddenly he felt short breaths on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see Diego in his face, licking at his lips. He heard Amelia giggling.

“Get him away” he called to her.

“Ah Nevada he likes you though!” She moved up the bed and lay on her side beside them to continue playing with the puppy. He turned to face her and reached his hand out to place it on her hip. He felt Amelia tense up and her face freeze before she looked at him.

“Stop it.”

He massaged her hip deeply and watched as her lips parted to release a breathless moan. Her eyes flickered before she regained her senses again.

“Stop it” she repeated.

Nevada moved his hand up over the curve of her ass to her lower back. He pulled her towards him, forcing Diego to jump over their heads to lie at the top of the bed. He caught the back of her neck and pushed her face towards him, her plump lips almost touching his.

“Stop it Nevada” she could barely speak, caught in the hypnotic trap.

He pressed his lips to hers, savouring her taste and her touch. He felt her hands on his chest, her nails slightly digging into his flesh. He parted his lips and groaned, pushing his tongue into her mouth. He needed this. He needed her.

“Carino” he squeezed her waist as he leaned forward to suck on her neck before she stopped him.

“I cant do this again.”

“What?”

“Get into the cycle of being with you, then fighting with you and getting hurt.” She sat up quickly before Nevada caught her arm.

“You’ve hurt me too Amelia, its not all one sided.”

“Because I turned down your proposal? Because it was crazy Nevada! The eve of my operation..”  
He cut her off, “Would you marry me now?”

“Why do you keep asking me?” she was exasperated.

“Because I love you” he said softly. She held her face in her hands.

“Nevada..”

He almost exploded, “I have so many men working for me. One look and I can make them crumble to their knees at my feet. Anyone who opposes me, I tear them to shreds before they can open their mouths. I think nothing of killing someone or throwing a kid off a bridge. But you….. I can’t get over you.”

He jumped up to face her. “I thought about you every day for the past two years. I would drive past that tatty flower shop just to see your face. I get my men to watch over you from afar, so you’re safe...”

He studied her beautiful face, which looked confused. “I feel so empty when I’m not with you. Amelia I love you, I need you.”

She could only look down. “I don’t want to be involved in that world, I don’t want to have to worry if you’ll come home hurt or shot. Or if you’ll come home at all. I’m sorry.” 

She felt him tighten his grip on her before he sprang off the bed and punched the wall with his fist. She saw his nostrils flare up and his face redden. He placed his hands on his belt and leant on one leg as he thought. Amelia took this opportunity to take Diego out of the bedroom into the kitchen. When she returned, Nevada was puffing on a cigarette, staring out the window. 

“Put that out.”

He glared at her sideways before turning completely away from her. Amelia walked over and grabbed the cigarette from his mouth, throwing it out of the window. Nevada began to protest before she pulled him to her, kissing him forcefully. He stood stunned for a second before opening his lips to deepen the kiss. He broke it when they became breathless.

“Stop playing with me.”

She stepped back and held his gaze as she unzipped her hoodie. He wet his lips as she unbuttoned her blouse slowly. His fingers twitched when she stood in front of him in only a bra and jeans. She unfastened the clasp at the back and the bra fell to the floor. He couldn’t resist the feel of her skin as she moved back into his arms and resumed the kissing. She held his face between her hands,

“One last time? Before we part forever?” she purred softly into his lips.

Nevada bundled her up into his arms and threw her on the bed.


	22. The deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thank you so much for all the comments and help, it meant so much to me.

Nevada nearly ripped his shirt as he pulled it quickly over his head and dove on top of Amelia on the bed. The kisses were intense, with him not letting her lips leave his. She pushed him to the side so she could unbutton his jeans, his excitement very visible through his briefs. She rubbed him through the fabric, biting her lip at the sight of Nevada flustered and breathless at her touch. She rolled his underwear down over his hips savouring the sight and touch of his bare skin. She gasped when he grabbed her ass and pulled her to him so he could grind against her. His eyes studied her intensely as he listened to her sighs of pleasure. He went to remove her jeans when her hand stopped him.

“Wait” she sat up panting. She undid the button and stood up. Nevada watched her gently coax each leg of her jeans down. He couldn’t help but stare where her knee met a shiny hard plastic calf and foot. She sat back down on the bed and turned to Nevada.

“Do you mind if I take it off?” she gestured to her leg, noticing Nevada’s uneasiness. “It gets…uncomfortable after a while.” 

He nodded wordlessly and shut his eyes. He felt the mattress move, then a pair of hands stroking up and down his chest. Lips brushed against his, then pecks down his chin and neck. He opened his eyes when arms wrapped around his neck and played with his chain. He found her staring back at him.

“You ok?” Amelia whispered, feeling his shoulders tense.

Nevada pulled her towards him quickly and rolled on top of her, kissing her feverishly and letting his hands roam all over her body. He moved her thighs to position himself and without warning, thrusted into her. She gasped and grabbed onto his arms as Nevada moved fast. He tucked his head into her neck as he kept a steady pace. Amelia could feel his breaths dampen her ear and her beginning to tighten around him. Just before she came, Amelia thought she heard Nevada mutter “I’m so sorry” almost inaudibly into her hair. He finished soon after her and made no effort to move as she held him down on top of her and gently ran his fingers through his hair.

It was hours later when Amelia stirred in her bed. She looked over at Nevada who was resting on his side facing her. She cuddled into the sheets as she thought. It was nice to have him here again, it made her feel…content. They had had sex again, this time wilder and more fun than the first go that evening. Nevada seemed to be less uncomfortable, though she noticed that he never looked or touched lower than her hip on the left side. She watched his eyelids twitch and his mouth move as he slept. His face looked sad and Amelia couldn’t help feeling for him. He was surrounded by money, his gang and all the girls he could ask for, yet inside he was probably the loneliest man she knew. She stroked the arm that was thrown over her stomach and smiled at the little murmurs he released. She turned her head to look out the window to the glistening stars.

Nevada woke up to an empty bed and an indent in the pillow next to him. He stretched his arms and legs and sat up, noticing with amusement the clothes scattered on the floor around the bed. He heard clattering of pans in the kitchen down the hall. He threw on his briefs and ran his hands through his hair as he followed the noise. His movements stilled when he saw Amelia standing at the cooker, crutches under her arms as she flipped bacon in a pan. He felt his stomach pang as he watched her humming and scooping scrambled eggs onto plates while balancing on one foot. 

Nevada moved closer and cleared his throat, “Mornin’.”

She swung around on her crutches, “Good morning” she smiled at him. “Hungry?”

Nevada grunted and sat at the table, holding his chin with one hand while playing with a fork in the other. He shot up when he saw Amelia bring his plate to the table as she used her elbow to move one of the crutches. She signaled for him to sit back down.

“I’ve had a lot of time and practice to master this, don’t worry!” 

She frowned at his troubled face but set down his plate and returned a few seconds later with her own. The only time Nevada looked up was to sip his orange juice, the rest he kept his face down and nibbled on the strips of bacon.

“You ok?” she asked him. 

He nodded feebly. It was minutes later when he finally met her eyes.

“If eh you ever need help with anything, y’know, whenever, just let me know. Anytime, weeks, years…” he started mumbling.

“I’m fine at the moment. I think I’ll be ok.”

He reached across the table to hold her hand. “I know you will be.”

They finished their breakfast in silence. Nevada cleared the table as Amelia moved to the sofa. He sat down beside her, his arm around her shoulders and his fingers rubbing her skin. She couldn’t resist holding his face in her hands and kissing him. 

“You’re incredible, you know that” he moaned into her mouth. He went to swing her legs over his but grabbed her left thigh by accident and panicked.

“Sorry did I hurt you?” he searched her eyes for any signs of pain.

“Nevada stop treating me like a paper doll, I’m tougher than I look” she ran her hands over his chest and lowered her voice. “I heard you say you were sorry last night.”

She studied him as he sighed and chewed his inner cheek. 

“If I had of believed you earlier, took action quicker..” he looked to the side, “If I had been the one to find you. But you’re like this because of me.”

“No because of Victor.”

“Victor did it out of revenge on me.”

Amelia knew that was true and couldn’t argue with it. 

“Well this is how things are now, I still have my life and that’s the most important thing. I’ve moved past blaming you, I couldn’t live like that. And I don’t want you doing it either.” She poked her finger into his belly playfully. 

“If I knew you would be safe forever…but it will always eat at me, not being near you, not knowing where you are, what you’re doing.”

“Why, are you moving away somewhere or something?”

Nevada stared at her. “I mean us living our separate lives. You’re not seriously gonna live in the Heights all your life, you need to branch out, get away from here.”

“I thought you had your sources everywhere, are they not going to keep you informed of me?”

Nevada smiled a little as he squeezed her hands, “Nothing beats talking to the real thing yourself.”

They sat quietly as he cuddled her. Amelia lightly scratched his forearm as she thought. Eventually Nevada shifted his position to let her go and stand up. She watched him go back to her bedroom and quickly followed to see him pick up his clothes from the floor. He pulled on his jeans slowly and did the belt.

“Stay a bit longer.” Amelia asked.

He smirked, “Got business to attend to carino, can’t leave them pendejos to hold the fort too long.”

“Come back later” she felt her heart beat race as Nevada studied her. He spun his tshirt in his hand as he spoke slowly.

“I thought this was it? A romantic fuck before we part forever as you put it last night.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn’t have to be..”

“Are you fucking messing with me or something??”

“I LOVE you Nevada, I cant help it, I thought I could have one last time with you and break it off but I can’t. I like when you’re here. After everything, I still like when you’re here.”

Nevada stood for a moment before approaching her. She held her finger up to stop him. 

“If we do this, there needs to be rules.” She glanced up at his inquisitive glare before continuing. “I never go to yours and mix with your men, you always come here. It should go without saying that no more of those girls. You don’t get involved in my flower business. We keep this quiet, we don’t need to be frolicking in the fields shouting it from the rooftops. We move slowly, you don’t propose marriage again for at least a year.” 

Nevada grinned as he listened. “Anything else or do I get a say?”

She gave her last request, “You treat me like you did when we were young. And you tell me you love me all the time.”

Nevada closed the gap between them and stroked her cheeks before kissing her beautiful lips. “Deal if you agree to my rule.”

She raised her eyebrow and waited. 

“You say it back.”

She laughed, “Deal” and leant towards him to resume the kisses. “Do you really have to go now?”

“Hmm mmmm” he sucked on her neck.

“Hurry back, and keep tomorrow free too” she teased, loving his heated gaze at her. She giggled and moved back, letting him finish dressing. At the front door as he left, he whispered “See you tonight.” 

Amelia spent the day reorganising her wardrobe and drawers, leaving him some space for his things. She couldn’t help smiling to herself. She knew everyone would think this was foolish, being involved with a notorious drug kingpin. But to her, he was still Nevada from high school, her study buddy and first love. Corny and cheesy as it was, she just couldn’t help it. 

And when the knock was heard after midnight, she opened the door to first see him, then hear the words,

“Te amo Amelia.”


End file.
